The Fibbing Fin: Hartline Offers Seldom Used Knight Rider Defense

15 Jul

The Brian Hartline case took a sharp turn Thursday evening when his defense offered up a new explanation for the mysterious July 3rd wreck, presenting the possibility that one or both vehicles were hyper-intelligent, and fully capable of operating themselves.

The incident took place around 4am, when a parked Cadillac Escalade was totaled by Hartline’s pick-up truck. Not a single driver was found at the scene. Initial calls made by the Highway Patrol to Hartline’s residence were not returned. When contact was made, authorities received only a vague statement from his Attorney, Bruce Farber Jr. of Hialeah.

But Farber’s team got down to specifics Thursday morning, presenting a series of artist’s renderings, as well as strung together clips from 1980s movies and television programs to Broward County Traffic Court Judge Delk Hainey.

“Drinking and driving is wrong, and nobody does it,” Farber Jr. explained. “Therefore, we can safely assume that at least my client’s truck, and possibly the Escalade in question as well, have both been equipped with electronic car brains, that allow the vehicles to go wherever they please at all hours of the night, while my client sleeps soundly and soberly in his warm bed.”

Judge Hainey appeared unconvinced through most of the presentation, though he did recognize a clip from the 1982 ‘Knight Rider’ episode, Trust Doesn’t Rust, in which KITT battles his twin and rival KARR.

“I think I remember that one with the other car there,” he said, cracking a momentary smile before granting the defense a 16-hour postponement.

The defense argued that they needed the extra time to secure DVD copies of ‘Christine’ and ‘Maximum Overdrive’, both crucial to their final arguments.

The Hoff and The Hart, both proud owners of hyperintelligent automobiles.

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2 Responses to “The Fibbing Fin: Hartline Offers Seldom Used Knight Rider Defense”

  1. InFINcible July 16, 2010 at 2:48 pm #

    Welcome back!! I haven’t been refreshing every 12 seconds I promise ;)

    I’m ready for this season to start…or at least TC. Anything but DUI’s and Domestic Violence wud be good.
    Here’s hoping we avoid the injury bug this TC and season.

    GO FINS!!

  2. danewen July 17, 2010 at 2:08 pm #

    We’ve got to get this roster in order, and get these guys to straighten up. Is Sparano too buddy buddy with these clowns? Just a thought.

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