GM Jeff Ireland made a huge splash Monday, outbidding several teams for undrafted free agent administrator Mark “Bang Bang” Brockelman. The Missouri product checks in at just 5’9″ 182lbs, but makes up for his lack of size with quickness, tenacity, and almost twenty years of experience in cost analysis and accounting.
“We had a fourth round grade on the guy,” Ireland explains. “He’s not stopwatch fast, but put him in the contained space of a conference room and your numbers are as good as crunched.”
The Dolphins expect Brockelman to immediately start at Senior VP/Chief Financial and Administrative Officer for the Miami Dolphins and Sun Life Stadium, though he could slide to right tackle if needed.
Brockelman is represented by Drew Rosenhaus and Master P.
- BS NEWSWIRE

Um, you got the wrong guy because the Mark Brockelman that the Dolphins hired is 40 years old, not 55. But good try anyway.
Crap. Thanks. How many Brockelmans can there be?!