Week 12 Stock Report: After Basting of Bills, Can Fins Cook America’s Team?

24 Nov

Dolphins Overall Worth (DOW) as they head into battle on the 34,122′ Jumbotron? 407 (+42 points)

RISERS

JARED ODRICK (NYSE: DRICK) +3: We could get used to seeing that Pee Wee Herman dance on Sundays. Tequila, suckas! A sack, a couple of quarterback hits, a tackle for a loss in a rotation. He is as advertised. We see a little Jared Allen in this kid. We’re buying.

CHARLES CLAY (NASDAQ: CLAY) +4 1/2: Very nice work by the rookie, who started slowly, no thanks to injuries. 4 receptions on 4 targets with 69 yards and a touchdown? That kid is going to make for a pretty dangerous H-back. Congrats to the kid. Another weapon for defenses to worry about. Clay can also block, an important asset given the shaky nature of the right o-line. If you like what you see, now’s the time to buy a few shares.

MATT MOORE (NASDAQ: MMOO) +7: A stellar day for the journeyman, who suddenly has some people declaring our quarterback search over. We’re not ready to go that far, but 3TDS and a 133 rating are worth applauding. 3 scores on 14 completions? Great success. Once you give up on this stock it rebounds.

MIKE NOLAN (NASDAQ: MNOL) +9: I’m sorry, but we beat the living crap out of the Bills this weekend. Wow. Literally sending guys to the hospital. We were straight up ending seasons on Sunday. We don’t cheer for injuries, but we certainly took note of the Grade A can of whoop-a** Nolan’s boys were unleashing on the visiting bison. We are now the #6 scoring defense in the NFL.

TUMBLERS

CLYDE GATES (NYSE: CGATE) -2: Our kickoff return average is currently 23rd in the league. So far this kid has looked timid, unassertive, and much slower than he really is. Our take? You can’t throw just any fast guy back there to return kicks. It is its own specialty, and it isn’t something Gates did in college. You think it mattered to the Chiefs that Dante Hall hardly ever did anything on offense? No. A KR/PR specialist could get 90 attempts. That’s more touches than 90% of WRs get. It is worth a roster spot for a stud returner. Bottom line.

SUMMARY: The Bottlenose was honored to be a guest of Fox Studios Gameday this past week. I met Jimmy, Howie, Terry and Mike Strahan. Hell, Strahan actually sat next to me in the VIP Suite to watch the games for a half-hour or so. Great talking to him. My Dolfan partner in crime Drake and I were by far the loudest fans in the suite, and Strahan was both amused and impressed. He made it a point to congratulate us after the games. Seems like a great guy.

We’re about to find out if these suddenly deadly Dolphins are for real, or just a product of a temporarily weak schedule. Either way it’s been a pleasure to watch the good guys pummel folks. We can’t remember the last time we came out and bludgeoned three straight foes. A combined score of 86-20 over the last few weeks. It would be great if we could leave the cowpokes six feet under tomorrow. It would certainly help me digest the seventeen pounds of stuffing. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Let’s be thankful for a resurgent Miami team, and for a deep crop of quarterbacks in case Matt Moore isn’t the second coming of Johnny Unitas. Oh yeah, also for our health, and for our loved ones.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

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