- DAVIE, FL
GM Jeff Ireland stepped to the podium with little to hide Tuesday morning, declaring his intentions to acquire then immediately trade away one of the top wideouts in the league for pennies on the dollar.
“We’re going to be bold the moment free agency opens,” Ireland explained, adjusting his officially creepy glasses. “We’re going to lock up Bowe, Wallace or Jennings, then immediately flip them for mid-round picks.”
Pressed as to why he would bring a an All-Pro quality wideout into the fold only to send them packing, and leave his quarterback with nothing but slot receivers and developmental projects to throw to, Ireland nodded toughly. “For the exact same reason I did it before. Because it’s the last thing they’d expect.”
In related news, Brandon Marshall caught 8 passes for 110 yards and 2 TDs today, despite the Bears not having a game.
- B.S. NEWSWIRE