What the Fin? – The Angry Ramblings of a Sea Mammal Fan
25 NovPLEASE NOTE: The following rant is best imagined being screamed at a television by a frenzied fan, pacing in his living room, wearing a Dolphins helmet and a fully embroidered Tannehill jersey (yes, The Bottlenose is all in with Dr. T), freshly stained with salsa.
Are you kidding me, Ireland?! Two third rounders for a stud #1 wideout in his prime, now on pace for about 1,400 yards and 14TDs?! Were you not aware that we had him under our control for two more years?! You were content enough with our fearsome WR corps to just bring in a couple of retreads and late round rookies?! So far that trade has netted us Michael Egnew, and left our upstart QB with no one who even remotely scares DBs! Were you really that sure this would be purely a rebuilding year, ’cause it sure would be nice to have a safety blanket like him for our rookie!
And about that Tannehill guy, did I really just watch us not move the pocket until one play during the last three minutes of a game?! Isn’t this the Ryan Tannehill who started at wide receiver for two years at A&M?! You might want to let him create just a little bit, especially if our o-line is going to do a Swiss cheese impression from now on! If we’re gonna trot out the saddest receiving corps in the NFL, might want to let Tanny buy his targets a few extra seconds!
And you know what else guys? I think you DID hit on a rookie wideout by the name of Rishard Matthews! And you know what? All he did in the preseason was make you look smart for drafting him! And you know what? He’s barely seen the field since then! And you know what? He’s 20lbs heavier than the other guys we’re trotting out there!
And you know what, Philbin!? We’re still paying the price for you sending Reggie Bush into the pile instead of just taking a knee before halftime against the Jets! Guy hasn’t been the same since! Don’t pretend you want to try and get down the field if you’re content to get to the locker room! We’re smart fans, and we would much rather see you kneel it than lose our most dynamic player! And you know what else?! Even if Reggie’s only at 50%, there is absolutely no reason to have Daniel “Two Yards and a Cloud of Dust” Thomas in the game instead of Reggie in our two-minute drill when we’re trying to get down the field for a win!
And you know what else?! BLITZ ANDREW LUCK! Blitz him! Don’t give that kid twelve seconds to find a guy! He will! Any NFL quarterback will! Hell I could, and I type words for a living!
Minutes before kickoff against the Seahawks and word is Lamar Miller is a healthy scratch. Really? Seems like you’re phasing Reggie Bush out and we won’t have Lamar in there at all? Does anyone actually think a healthy dose of Danny Thomas is a recipe for victory?
Apologies for the negative tone. I haven’t had my meds. How about we show some fight out there today, Sea Mammals? We’ve tried to keep our chin up, but there’s some mystifying stuff going on in Davie. Am I out of line here? Love to hear your take, Dolfans.
GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @TheBottlenose
Week 10 Stock Report: Fish Must Topple Titans After Setback
11 NovDolphins Overall Worth (DOW) after a disappointment in Indy: 536.6 (-21.7)
RISERS
RYAN TANNEHILL (NASDAQ: TANN) +1: When a rookie limits mistakes, tosses for 290 yards and a rating over 90, it’s a positive. That being said, you can’t throw a pass on the wrong side of the sticks on a desperation 4th down. Sad thing is we completed it. Even sadder, it wouldn’t have counted anyway. Shake it off, rook. You’re the most promising stock we’ve had in a long time.
REGGIE BUSH (NYSE: BUSHY) +1 1/2: Reggie didn’t get a ton of work, but his touchdown looked like the early season version of himself. He averaged over 4 yards per carry, and caught a couple of passes for 25 yards. If Reggie can start looking like his old self we should be right in the thick of things at season’s end. He made us dangerous, and we’ve missed his explosiveness.
BRIAN HARTLINE (NYSE: BHART) +2: Eight catches and 100+ yards for the slippery Hartline. He’s got great hands, but he tends to disappear some weeks. His rightful place is as a crafty #2/#3 guy, although it’s hard to be that when there is no #1. Which reminds us, may we uncork something from our whine cellar and point out that Brandon Marshall is now on pace for 1,600 yards and 14 TDs?
TUMBLERS
EVERY DB ON THE ROSTER (NYSE: EDBOTR) – 8 1/2: We were on the wrong end of a record-setting day last week. We made a calculated decision this week to make Andrew “What The” Luck beat our defensive backfield, and he promptly did to the tune of 433 yards. A slap on the wrist for everyone back there, as there’s plenty of blame to spread around. That being said, see below.
KEVIN COYLE (NASDAQ: COYL) -11: Poor Kevin makes his debut on the stock report, and not in a good way. Long story short, only two teams in the AFC have more sacks than our SoFlo Sea Mammals. Heading into a game against a rookie QB, we made a mysterious decision to drop into coverage rather than bring the heat. In our opinion this amounted to taking the defensive game plan out of the hands of our pass rush and into the hands of our 29th ranked pass defense. Time after time we watched our outnumbered D-linemen clamoring at five and six-man lines, while Luck calmly surveyed the field, waiting for a receiver to emerge. Give any offense that much time, you’re asking for it. We would love to see how Mike Nolan would have game planned for Luck. Alas he’s up in the A-T-L, overseeing the #5 scoring defense in the NFL.
SUMMARY
Ouch. That one stings. The Colts and the Dolphins are both surprise teams, and this was a chance for one or the other to announce that they were for real. The Colts did so, and now the Sea Mammals are left doggie-paddling alongside a handful of middle of the road teams. Our schedule could still support a nice run, but that means winning back to back against Tennessee and Buffalo. Contenders or pretenders? We thrash the Titans and we’re still a buzz team. And still in the playoff mix.
GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose
Dolphins Play Prevent All Day, Preventing a Road Win
5 NovWould Mike Nolan have given the best quarterback prospect to enter the league in 20 years that much time to find a target?
That was the question we found ourselves asking all day yesterday, as Andrew Luck picked us apart in record-breaking fashion almost exclusively against four or five man rushes.
Yes, there were other reasons for the loss. There were self-inflicted wounds. There was also no help to be had from the refs, who flagged Koa Misi for a questionable, massive interference penalty to set up Indy’s first TD. Not to mention the 50-yards in penalties piled on us during our last five plays were certainly “poorly timed” by the zebras.
However, we feel that the story of the entire contest was us not bringing the heat, allowing this young stud to wait until a target emerged from our flood of defensive backs. It’s true that our DBs don’t deserve any accolades for their performance. However, if you give any talented signal caller that much time to survey his options, and give his receivers that much time to find the holes, they usually will.
Maybe we weren’t in a “by the book” prevent, but over and over we made a calculated decision to drop into coverage, hoping our outnumbered D-linemen could pressure Luck anyway. It backfired in a big way, leaving us saddled with a loss we couldn’t afford, and forcing us to watch clips of Luck’s “coming out party” for the next decade.
“All a prevent defense does is prevent you from winning.” – John Madden
GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @TheBottlenose
Week 9 Stock Report: Flashing Fins Clash with Colts
4 NovDolphins Overall Worth (DOW) as they roll into clash with Colts: 558.3 (+38.9)
RISERS
MATT MOORE (NASDAQ: MMOO) +2 1/2: Moore was the team MVP last season, and we’re sure it didn’t feel too lovely being overtaken by a rookie this preseason. Matt showed his worth when Tanny left the game, giving us a poised presence under center and keeping the heat on the Jets for the rest of the day. There are not many teams who can say they’ve got someone as steady as Moore on the sidelines if needed. One of the top backup stocks being traded today. Depending on how Dr. T feels in warmups or in the early going today, we may see more of Moore.
DARREN RIZZI (NASDAQ:RIZZ) +4: This was one of the best single-game special teams performances in NFL history. This unit recovered an onside kick, blocked a punt, blocked a field goal and was perfect on ours, scored a touchdown, and even managed to do the “Gangnam Style” in the end zone to top it all off. Kudos to our special teams guru for bringing the pain to the Jests.
JIMMY WILSON (NYSE: JWILS) +5 1/2: Jimmy Wilson flashed a bit of “one man wrecking crew” against the hated Jets. But it’s becoming evident that Wilson brings more to the table than just the plays on the field. It’s his swagger we like most, the kind of swagger that helps a defense develop an identity. This once troubled stock is rising steadily.
TUMBLERS
None this week. It would be morally wrong as a Dolphins fan to complain after a 30-9 win against the Jets.
SUMMARY
What a satisfying thrashing after a number of nail-biters. We’ve got something cooking in SoFLo, and the future looks bright. Joe Philbin is taking some chances, and we love to see it. Three draft picks in the first couple of rounds. Enough cap room to keep our best and brightest, and maybe bring in a key piece. But, as excited as we are, this Colts game makes us nervous. Ailing Coach Chuck Pagano will be on hand, and I expect Indianapolis to play inspired ball. Luck is not your average rookie. Then again, neither is Dr. T.
GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose
Cap Space May Already Be Spoken For in Miami
4 NovThere has been some serious buzz about the roughly $50m these SoFlo Sea Mammals will have under the 2013 salary cap. However, as the current team starts to do some damage on the playing field, the idea of keeping them largely intact becomes more crucial. Between Jake Long, Reggie Bush, Sean Smith, Randy Starks, and Brian Hartline the Dolphins have some work to do keeping our free agents in house.
Guys like Long don’t come along very often. We’ve got to be actively working on a deal that honors the value of a Pro Bowl left tackle, while also honoring the fact that toward the end of his contract Jake will be no spring chicken. As of press time the massive lineman is 27.
Reggie Bush has found himself a bit banged up this season, but do you feel comfortable with handing the reins over to Daniel Thomas and Lamar Miller at this point? All indications are that Reggie loves it in South Florida, and hopefully a reasonable deal can be struck to keep this good locker room presence, not to mention one of the top pass catching backs in the game, around Davie for a little while longer.
The Sean Smith situation worries us the most, and if it were our job we would lock him up yesterday. He’s the real deal, and other teams are certainly taking notice. Cornerbacks like Sean get paid in full, and if he hits the market we may be outbid for his services. Freakish size and great instincts, this kid is a touch matchup for any wideout in the game. He also just 25 years of age. How nice would it be to cement him into the lineup for the foreseeable future?
The versatile Randy Starks is one of those lunch pail guys who never seems to get enough credit. No doubt that Randy is one of the main reasons Miami has perhaps the most feared run defense in the league. Randy is about to turn 29, and it’s unlikely that another team will back the Brinks truck up to his house. Why mess with a good thing, when Starky can probably be re-upped with a reasonable, solid contract?
Brian Hartline is a nice guy to have around. Slippery with great hands, Brian is probably far enough removed from his Incredible Hulk performance in Arizona that he can be re-signed for solid possession receiver money. Still, it won’t be dirt cheap to keep him in Davie.
A couple of wild cards in all this? Our #1 wide receiver problem. In case you’re scoring at home we traded our undisputed Pro Bowl wideout to the Bears for two 3rd round picks. Sorry if that sounds judgmental, but it’s been our most glaring deficiency this season and it absolutely didn’t need to be. If we go out and grab a #1 wideout, whether in trade of free agency, said player is almost certainly going to want to be paid money for his services. Greg Jennings could be an interesting “discount” signing, given his health problems this season, his 30th birthday looming in the not so distant future, and his relationship with Joe “Crazylegs” Philbin.
Of course the bean counters will have to work overtime to lock up the above mentioned players as well as bag studly Kansas City wideout Dwayne Bowe. He’s is going to get paid big time this offseason, but given Dr. T’s emergence under center, and the crap shoot drafting a rookie wideout can be, it’s tempting.
The second wild card? The franchise tag. If we can’t work out a deal with Long, Smith or Bush, we could guarantee them a nice pay day and buy another season before saying adios or negotiating another deal.
Nice to have all that cap room, Just don’t count on a splashy payday for an incoming player. Free agency this offseason should mostly be about taking care of our own. And the way these Dolphins are playing, that ain’t necessarily a bad thing.
GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @TheBottlenose –
The Bottlenose’s 2013 Miami Dolphins Lineup
14 JanOFFENSE
QB Ryan Tannehill
RB Reggie Bush/Lamar Miller timeshare
WRs Greg Jennings//Davone Bess/Stedman Bailey/Rishard Matthews
TE Fred Davis
LT Eric Fisher
LG Richie Incognito
C Mike Pouncey
RG Larry Warford
RT Jonathan Martin
DEFENSE
DE Cameron Wake
DT Randy Starks
DT Paul Soliai
DE Margus Hunt
CB Sean Smith
CB David Amerson
SS Reshad Jones
FS Louis Delmas
OLB Koa Misi
MLB Karlos Dansby
OLB Kevin Burnett
This is of course predicated on letting Jake Long go. He has been a warrior. Picking him over Matt Ryan can be criticized, but for a long while Jake was a beast of a left tackle. Parcells is a guy from another time, when it was all about the trenches. Don’t get us wrong, it’s still largely about those trenches, but over the years the league has shifted everything toward passing. Skimping on QB for a lineman has never been riskier, and it certainly would have been nice to have ended our QB nightmare six years ago.
That being said, believing that Dr. T is going to be a heck of a QB, and acknowledging that left tackle is still hella-important, we draft the monster Eric Fisher at pick 12 to start from day one. A Greg Jennings reunion with “Smokin’ Joe” Philbin gives us a chance to wait at WR. First pick in round 2 we use to strengthen our already solid D, importing the freakish Margus Hunt from SMU to terrorize QBs opposite Cam Wake. He’s played on the same side as Wake, but he’s an unparalleled specimen and can get used to a change. We think Sean Smith has special potential. Resigning him (or tagging) and teaming him with late 2nd rounder David Amerson gives us the biggest CB tandem in football.
We like the depth of the 2013 WR crop, and nabbing Mountaineer playmaker Stedman Bailey in round 3, to throw into the mix with Jennings and Bess would be a smart move. Hell, let’s do it with the pick we got from the Bears in the notorious Brandon Marshall trade to help lessen the blow. Our second 3rd rounder is Kentucky OG Larry Warford. The guy has slugged it out anonymously at UK with all the big name SEC defenders, and has played well.
Louis Delmas and Fred Davis are two guys whose potential outweighs injury risk. A healthy Delmas teams with Reshad Jones would be a stellar tandem (for the record, we’d like to see Jimmy Wilson at safety if we don’t take the plunge on a free agent). Fred Davis was the Redskins leading receivers before he went down with an achilles injury. He’s expected back by May, and along with Jennings and Stedman Bailey would immediately breathe new life into our passing attack.
A word about Brian “Bang Bang” Hartline. We have loved him as a SoFlo Sea Mammal, but ultimately we were forced to rely on him so much that his FA value may have surpassed his on-field value. We’re not sold that if you gave say Rishard Matthews those 128 targets, he wouldn’t have been right there with Hartline statistically. If we show Hartline the money, we’ll end up overpaying for a 700yd, 3TD wideout 2013. Just our two cents.
EARLY DRAFT: 1) OT Eric Fisher. 2A) DE Margus Hunt 2B) CB David Amerson 3A) WR Stedman Bailey 3B) OG Larry Warford
FREE AGENT SIGNINGS/RE-SIGNINGS: WR Greg Jennings, FS Louis Delmas, TE Fred Davis, CB Sean Smith, DT Randy Starks, RB Reggie Bush
KEY FREE AGENT DEPARTURES/CUTS: LT Jake Long, WR Brian Hartline, CB Richard Marshall ($5.3 million salary in 2013?!), K Dan Carpenter ($2.675 million?!)
SUMMARY
Our 2013 Miami Dolphins line up a defense that will line up one of the top safety tandems in the league, with two tall, athletic, young CBs. Against the run we should still be beastly, and adding the Estonian monster Hunt opposite Wake will give opposing QBs less time to find wideouts.
On offense, a rested Reggie Bush will continue to mentor big-play youngster Lamar Miller, improving his pass-catching and blocking responsibilities. Ryan Tannehill will drop back behind a dynamic, young O-line, and look for Greg Jennings. Checking down he may find slot Jedi Davone Bess, vertical threat TE Fred Davis, or big play newcomer Stedman Bailey.
Resigning our own FAs will take up much of our celebrated cap space. However, Starks and Bush should be able to be retained for reasonable contracts. Sean Smith can be tagged if a contract isn’t worked out. Trimming Richard Marshall and Dan Carpenter would clear substantial space. Jennings still has ability, but just missed the bulk of a season with injury and will be turning 30. We don’t expect his contract to approach Wallace or Bowe territory. Shrewd signings of Louis Delmas and Fred Davis could provide All Pro level play at two key positions.
Just our two cents, and we’d love to hear yours.
GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @TheBottlenose