Meet New Dolphins Left Tackle, Jonathan Martimsislee

Hmm. Right around the time Jeff Ireland performed last rites on the Branden Albert idea he began hedging his bet, drafting mammoth blocking tight end Dion Sims, along with one of the best pass blocking backs in the draft in Florida’s Mike Gillislee.

We want Jonathan Martin to excel on the left side as much as anybody, but we’re not holding our breath (great analysis of Martin’s performance last season here, by the way (http://www.thephinsider.com/2013/2/4/3901992/miami-dolphins-season-in-review-offensive-line-trench-warfare). Heck, Jeff Ireland was obviously in the market for another player to protect the blind side.

But with the idea of Martin actually starting at that crucial spot becoming more and more of a reality, we made a couple of supplemental moves. Ireland grabbed Dion Sims, considered perhaps the best blocking tight end in the draft. He also imported Florida Gator Mike Gillislee, who in addition to his talent with the ball received rave reviews for his blocking skills from just about every scout and site you can name. Dustin Keller and Lamar Miller have their skill set, but legit ability to slow Demarcus Ware will probably never appear on their resume.

So perhaps we’ll be seeing a fair amount of Dion Sims just to the left of Jonathan Martin. It wouldn’t surprise us to see a whole lot of Gillislee in the backfield too, chipping whatever DEs and LBs are coming around the Martin. Oh, and let’s throw in a lot of Dr. T rolling to his right, just in case the “blind side by committee” falters.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @TheBottlenose

Miami’s Draft: Sack or Be Sacked?

This will be fun to watch. Maybe not so much for Ryan Tannehill.

Heading into Thursday evening we were nowhere near the territory where “the big three” left tackles were expected to leave the draft board. Then, suddenly, with the clock almost expiring on the Raiders, our new logo appeared. We were on the board at three. Ireland had done it. With Branden Albert talks at an impasse, Jeff had taken advantage of a buyer’s market and jumped up for Lane Johnson.

Only we hadn’t. Dion Jordan’s phone rang, and the Sea Mammals had punched the freakishly athletic defender a ticket to Davie. It was of course, one of those “wow” moments. After considering the fruitless search to generate pass rush opposite Cameron Wake, and the fact that the road to our division title leads through Tom Brady, we bought in. Wake and Jordan may meet at a lot of QBs for the foreseeable future.

But along with the excitement was the belief that Miami and Kansas City would still be burning up the phone lines about Branden Albert, the 28-year old, disgruntled tackle who was ranked Pro Football Focus’ 7th best pass blocker in 2012 (9th in 2012). At the end of round 2 we would have added a unique force to our already 7th ranked scoring defense, as well as protected Ryan Tannehill’s blind side.

That trade never happened, for either salary or trade compensation reasons, depending on who you follow and trust on Twitter. Possible targets Menelik Watson and Terron Armstead off the board, our second rounder went to secure explosive cornerback Jamar Taylor to go opposite newcomer Brent Grimes (we get it, stop Brady, win the division). The draft continued. We grabbed Tennessee tackle/guard combo Dallas Thomas, who is projected to be either an interior lineman or right tackle at the next level.

From the look of it a very productive draft (we’ll review ALL the newcomers after the undrafted class is signed), with one humongous, glaring asterisk. Some are classifying the Branden Albert talks as “dead”, but who expects that situation to get better before getting worse? We expect that drama to only intensify, and we’re on record as the main suitor if and when the dung hits the fan in Chief Land. Other options may emerge of course.

Is there a sliver of hope that Jonathan Martin can somehow play left tackle at a sufficient level against NFL talent? Sure. To hope is human. However, he was generally eaten alive there last season. To be fair, he was a rookie, but we’re not prepared to go into the season depending on him. The many discussions with the Chiefs lead us to believe that Ireland’s not too comfy with that idea either.

As the dust settles, we’ve added a potential sackmaster to the ranks. Of course in doing so we may have exposed our own gunslinger. It’s sack or be sacked in Davie, and if Jeff Ireland doesn’t pull a rabbit from a hat at left tackle? Well next season’s last sack may go to Stephen Ross.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @TheBottlenose

The Bottlenose’s 2013 Miami Dolphins Mock Draft

Hell, why not give it a whirl?

PICK #12. We think Tavon’s gonna be history by this pick. We’re also not sold (barring a Milliner tumble) on the corners available here being any better than the guys available in the next round. This pick may boil down to who the Sea Mammals have graded higher, Eifert or Sheldon Richardson. We’ve secured the services of both Randy Starks and Dustin Keller only for 2013, so either a TE or DT will be a need sooner rather than later. We like the TEs available later much more than the DTs. SELECTION: SHELDON RICHARDSON, DT, MISSOURI

PICK #42. Can’t bet the farm on the Grimes signing, which is another one year special Jeff Ireland cooked up. We didn’t go CB in round 1 ’cause we liked the depth later. Time to pull the trigger on a small school kid with big time talent. SELECTION: ROBERT ALFORD, CB, SE LOUISIANA

PICK #54. This pick secures Pro Football Focus’ #7 ranked pass blocker in the NFL last season. #9 ranked in 2011. That’s out of over 70+ linemen they graded. Protecting Tannehill is even more important now that he actually has targets to throw to. Let Martin progress on the right side. He’s not an NFL LT. But KC’s 28-year old malcontent IS. SELECTION: BRANDEN ALBERT, LT, KANSAS CITY

PICK #77. Nice depth at TE this year. Passing up on Eifert left this a need area, not knowing if Keller will be around beyond 2013. Hopefully this kid’s got a little Gronk in him. SELECTION: GAVIN ESCOBAR, TE, SAN DIEGO STATE

PICK#82. Misi doesn’t scare left tackles. We’re not convinced Olivier Vernon scares left tackles. We think this guy will. SELECTION: COREY LEMONIER, DE/OLB, AUBURN

PICK #110. Reggie Bush is chilling on Eight Mile now. Really think Ireland is content with Lamar Miller and Daniel “Two Yards and a Cloud of Dust” Thomas in the backfield? Exaaaactly. SELECTION: MIKE GILLISLEE, RB, FLORIDA

PICK #146. The Dolphins wait to add some wide receiver help, but a remarkably deep class leaves a pretty intriguing prospect still on the board. A possible Bess trade would make this an even smarter move. SELECTION: JOSH BOYCE, WR, TCU

PICK #166 If John Jerry isn’t the guy, then who is? We could see them adding a hard-working, smart, character guy with upside on the interior. Level of competition is suspect, but he’s got the will and the tools to put it all together. SELECTION: OG, J.C. TRETTER, CORNELL

PICK #217 Almost closing time at this point. When a 340lb, SEC battle-tested nose is sitting there you have to take notice. Let’s not forget that Soliai’s contract is up after this season too. Maybe big Paul could show this up and down youngster how consistency works. SELECTION: NT KWAME GEATHERS, GEORGIA

PICK #224 Hard to see why this physical freak isn’t projected to go higher. The Sea Mammals have shown interest, and the addition of a big, fast back like Murray, along with the addition of Lee, could easily send Daniel Thomas packing. SELECTION: LATAVIUS MURRAY, RB, CENTRAL FLORIDA

PICK #250. Why not give a look to the 6’5, 235lb safety prospect who lit up the East West Shrine Game? SELECTION: COOPER TAYLOR, S, RICHMOND

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @TheBottlenose

Top Ten Reasons to Put Away the Branden Albert “Haterade”

Lots of negative chatter about the SoFlo Sea Mammals’ discussions with the Chiefs regarding Branden Albert. The following list represents our best attempt at quelling this discontent as the draft approaches.

1. The trade hasn’t even happened yet.

2. Albert just turned 28, and Pro Football Focus ranked him as a top ten pass blocker the last two years (#7 last year, #9 in 2011).

3. He’ll cost us a 2nd rounder. Our most recent 2nd rounders? Jonathan Martin, Daniel Thomas, Koa Misi, Pat White, Sean Smith, Samson Satele, Philip Merling, Chad Henne and John Beck. Let’s stop acting like those second rounders are gold.

4. We’ve got TWO second rounders.

5. Jonathan Martin was a big, giant sketchball on the left side. I’m sorry. He was. He fell to the second round because people doubted his ability to lock down the blind side. He didn’t exactly face the defensive hounds of hell in the PAC 12, where 42-38 final scores are the norm.

6. To import Mike Wallace, Dustin Keller and Brandon Gibson (not to mention any additional targets we acquire in the draft) and not give Tanny enough time to get rid of the ball would be a humongous, crying shame.

7. Yes, a contract we give Albert would reflect the importance of having a good left tackle, but it will also be one that’s relatively painless to get out of after two seasons.

8. Jake Long’s last truly good season was 2010. The Rams are betting on him turning back the clock three years, and it’s an expensive gamble. Albert is playing at a high level NOW, and that means something.

9. When Jeff Ireland had to decide on Jake, the “big three” LT prospects hadn’t meteorically risen up the draft board. Things happen on a certain timeline. As things change, you play the cards you’re dealt. That’s what Jeff’s doing.

10. We’d get one less player if we traded up for a LT. Trading up would mean losing a second rounder. Suppose we did jump up. We’re talking about having just Lane Johnson, or having the guy we know is a top 10 pass blocking linemen (out of 70+ eligible players) locked in on the left side AND Tavon Austin, or Dee Milliner, or whatever player might fall to #12. Not to mention the possibility of trading down and adding more picks, and plugging more holes.

In conclusion, we’re not going to cry if we acquire a 28-year old, top ten pass blocker to protect Tannehill’s blind side, and pay him the going rate. Not to mention it’ll lessen the hurt when the trade also allows us to plug two other holes by the end of round 2.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @TheBottlenose

Dr. T Slices and Dices in Preseason Debut

In August of 1983 Dan Marino stepped on the field in the second half of a preseason tilt with the Dallas Cowboys. It was his first live action, and the kid threw for 176 yards and a touchdown. Ryan Tannehill, the most talented youngster we’ve had under center since Danny Boy, had a remarkably similar debut last night.

Okay, let’s not let the hype train rumble out of control. It is what it is, a preseason game. Not to mention the Dan Marino hangover has left us all desperate to anoint a second coming. But give the youngster some credit. Hell, if Roberto Wallace hangs onto that first TD this pre-med student turned top ten pick would have logged a downright monster stat line for just over a quarter of work.

So, if this kind of play continues throughout the preseason, what will the Dolphins do with this rookie gunslinger? There are success stories from both schools of thought. There are guys who sit and watch a veteran, undoubtedly learning much along the way. Then there are guys who are thrown into the deep end, learning on the fly.

Do we think starting immediately would have ruined Aaron Rodgers? No. Do we think sitting Cam Newton would have kept him from coming in this year and demolishing the league like he did in 2011? Nope. We think the cream of the crop rises to the top in either case.

But did the Panthers have a better quarterback on their roster than Cam last season? No. Was Bruce Gradkowski better than Andy Dalton up in Cincy? Can Ryan Tannehill best Matt Moore’s 175 yards and 1.2 TDs per game from 2011?

It’s worth pointing out that we have one of the top scoring defenses in the league, and that we were only three wins from a playoff spot. We need to see more of Dr. T, but wouldn’t it be a shame if we left our best chance to score points on the bench just because some mythical handbook says it’s the right thing to do?

Remember, Rodgers sat because the Pack had Brett Favre. Do you see a Favre on this roster?

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @TheBottlenose

THE OWNER (Ballad of Stephen Ross) – by Kenny Rogers

On a January day,
A team bound for nowhere,
Laid an egg in Foxboro,
It was a hell of a mess.
And The Owner got the feeling,
The players had stopped listening,
He headed out to San Fran’,
And so did the press.

He was meeting with a kid,
Who’d done real well at Stanford,
He’d shake hands with a coach then,
Shove him outta the way,
But the kid stayed put in NoCal,
And left The Owner hangin’,
And with another mess he,
Had to make okay,

CHORUS:
You got to know when to hire ‘em,
Know when to fire ‘em,
Know when to sign a guy,
When to make him cry,
You never give an extension,
When you’re in a downward spiral,
When the locker room is lost y’all,
It’s time to say goodbye.

Every owner knows that the secret to survivin’,
Is knowing who to pink slip,
And who to give a raise,
‘Cause every team’s a winner,
And every team’s a loser,
And the one who makes the difference,
Is the dude who calls the plays.

CHORUS

When he got home to Miami,
The Owner he turned yellow,
Called off the coaching search,
Gave raises out of fear,
He didn’t call up Chucky,
Or send a plane for Cowher,
He knew Fergie and some field goals,
Would make the Dolfans cheer.

CHORUS

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

Indianapolis Shouldn’t Be So Lucky

Wait, wait, wait. So the Indianapolis Colts may go from a Hall of Famer to a future Hall of Famer in the blink of an eye? 

Peyton Manning’s injury may be more of a pain in the neck than we realized. We could wind up 1-15, and who might still be picking ahead of us in April? Why only one of the winningest franchises of the last decade.

Don’t get us wrong. We aren’t advocating intentional losses, as some of the most vociferous Suck for Luckers are. However, if our lackluster play continues and the Dolphins go belly up, it would be downright criminal for the Colts to land Andrew Luck.

Quite simply, we have earned that pick. Mr. Luck has been bought and paid for with every failed starter we’ve burned through since Saint Marino removed his storied cleats. It’s a graveyard of signal callers, Lucas, Harrington, Culpepper, Frerotte. We all know the parade of names on that sad graphic they show during every other Dolphins telecast. It’s become pigskin’s version of the Vietnam Wall.

By almost every scout’s estimation Luck would make that graphic a faint memory. But if the conveniently-bad Colts somehow out-suck the SoFlo Sea Mammals, here’s hoping Landry Jones is a hell of a consolation prize.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

Go Ahead Brandon, Enter Beast Mode

Why should Brandon Marshall hold back? Why should any Dolphin hold back, after this 0-4 start? Marshall has made some interesting statements about going ballistic on Monday Night Football against the hated Jets. He’s even been working on his punting again in practice. Something may be simmering inside of #19, and as long as nobody is shot, stabbed, or given a Colombian Necktie, we say unleash the beast.

Still looking for our first win, and heading into enemy territory against perhaps the best cornerback tandem in football, we would love to see Marshall shake things up. The Beast can be monstrous, and he thrives on emotion. If it takes him flirting with anger mismanagement to get him rolling, go for broke, kid.

He is a phenomenal talent. Talk of trading him is short-sighted. He’s under contract through 2014, and he’d make a hell of a safety blanket for Andrew Luck, Landry Jones, Matt Flynn, or whoever takes the reins of this offense in 2012. You bring in a first year starter without a #1 wideout and you often wind up with Sam Bradford. That isn’t a knock on Sam. His targets are what they are.  

Of course with Marshall it’s a matter of harnessing that emotion just enough, so he’s not thrown out of the game, and/or costing us field position. But really, “Calm down, Brandon”? “Take it easy”? This team needs some fire. Who’s it going to come from, Anthony Fasano? Nah.

The fire we need may have to come from the team’s most flammable source.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

The Fibbing Fin: Dolphins Sign Reporter Omar Kelly

– DAVIE, FL

The Miami Dolphins know talent when they see it, so when local beat reporter Omar Kelly pummeled linebacker Kevin Burnett while Tweeting the entire time, Jeff Ireland knew it was time to face up to his mistake.

After the loss in San Diego, Burnett had several choice words for Kelly, challenging him to put on pads and “come at me like a man”. However, officials intervened before it became physical. Not so Tuesday morning, when Kevin Burnett cornered the Kelly outside of the weight room before being beaten unconscious by the 35-year-old reporter/blogger/photographer/painter/seafood enthusiast.

“It was insane,” defensive lineman Igor Olshanksy explained as he prepared a traditional broiled peacock for the upcoming Yom Kippur weekend. “That guy Kelly worked him over for fifteen minutes. It was some no mercy stuff. And Omar was Tweeting about it the whole time, which made it all the more impressive.”

Indeed Kelly sent over three dozen Tweets during the fight, including “Fighting Kevin Burnett right now. SMH”, “Tupac is better than Biggie”, “Totally beating this dude up LMAO. I need a good mix tape”, and several references to Deuteronomy 23:1. Following the fight a curious Jeff Ireland put Kelly through a workout before signing him as an upgrade at middle linebacker.

The Dolphins have also planned a charity auction to sell a 10′ x 5′ depiction of the brawl, painted by Kelly during the fight.

– BS NEWSWIRE

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

The Fibbing Fin: Bye Week a Two Point Favorite Over Dolphins

– LAS VEGAS, NV

A flurry of activity erupted at the Caesar’s Palace Sportsbook Monday morning, as oddsmakers made the Miami Dolphins two point underdogs to the bye week.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” visiting software developer Bindar Dundat said, on his way to place a bet. “Normally a bye week has no chance, but something tells me this is the year.”

Miami wideout Davone Bess seemed anxious via phone, as he saved orphans from a volcano in Bali. “We simply can’t lose this weekend. Seriously, we can’t. Right?”

Excitement for this weekend’s matchup has grown. NFL.com sold more bye week jerseys on Monday than in the last three months.

A bye week has never defeated an NFL team in a non-strike season.

BS NEWSWIRE

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose