Tag Archives: draft

Maybe Miami Must Make Much Maligned Mallett the Man?

5 Apr

Okay, so maybe Ryan Mallett is a little bit “Dirty South”. Everyone you hear says two things, that his teammates love him, and that he’s the best pure passer in the draft. We actually like his fire, and his swagger too. We don’t see much of that from our current, gun-shy signal caller.

This is a passing league, babe. We’ve got a monster in Brandon Marshall, and a killer slot guy in Bess. Maybe the “best pure passer” label should carry more weight than the “alleged drug user” one? The good news about the Mallett rumors? They could make it very possible to trade down, add our missing second rounder, and still nab the cannon-armed youngster late in the first.

Ingram’s knee is causing a bit of concern, as is the pedestrian 40 time he put up at the combine. It certainly makes you consider how much distance there is between the Alabama back and the other prospects. That second rounder could then possibly be used to still grab a strong candidate for our backfield vacancy.

But suppose we can’t trade down. Suppose there’s no action when Miami’s on the clock. Aren’t there a lot worse fates than being forced to draft the best passer in the 2011 draft?

We think so.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

The All-Speed Dolphins Mock Draft

7 Mar

Here it is, a complete turbo-injection for the Dolphins. This is based on current projections.

1 Torrey Smith, WR Maryland (after a trade down to add a 2nd) – A coveted deep threat to go opposite The Beast and Bess. Smith ran a 4.43 at Lucas Oil, but was originally clocked as a 4.37.

2 Colin Kaepernick QB Nevada – This long-strider ran a 4.55 in Indy, and has a cannon arm. Future workouts could propel him higher.

3 Dontay Moch DE/OLB Nevada – With freakish speed off the edge, Moch ran a 4.44 at about 250lbs. Could form an insane pass rushing tandem with Cam Wake.

4 Rob Housler, TE, FAU – Caught a ton of balls in college. Added a bushel of bulk and still ran a 4.55 at the combine. Housler is a very intriguing player.

5 Mario Fannin, RB, Auburn – Lost in the shuffle at Auburn, Fannin still graduated with the school record for RB receptions and receiving yards. At 5’11”, 231lbs, Fannin runs an absurd 4.38 40. A walking freak show.

6 Da’Rel Scott, RB, Maryland – Fastest offensive player at the combine (4.33), he projects as a third down, Sproles type. Scott returned kicks as a frosh at Maryland, and would be called upon to help revamp our return game.

7 Ryan Bartholomew, OG/C, Syracuse – One of only two offensive linemen to run under 5.0, Bartholomew also was one of the strongest kids at the combine. Though short, we like him as a guard with great pulling potential.

7 Ricardo Lockette, WR, Fort Valley State – This small school prospect is 6’1″, 211lbs, and ran a 4.37. Ricardo is a track star with great kick returner potential right off the bat.

Not bad. It would certainly boost our team speed anyway. Was there a franchise in the NFL with fewer big plays last season? Studies show those type of plays tend to happen when your players can outrun the other guys.

And that’s one to grow on.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

Scratch One “Win Now” Free Agent Off the List

14 Feb

The Patsies slapped Logan Mankins with a franchise tag today. While the NFLPA and the owners may disagree on the legality of these tags, the odds are that these tags will be respected once this labor unrest is just a faint memory, like ‘Avatar’.

With the tagging of Mankins, New England commits to paying him a one year deal worth just over $10million if he stays. Any team that manages to sign the guard away from Foxboro will owe the Patsies two first round picks. Of course, New England could accept less if they decided to. Still, we don’t like the odds of Bill Belichick sending Mankins to a team within the division.

At any rate, Mankins was largely considered the best guard available. With the interior line a huge position of need, we were foolishly hoping that Miami might get a clear shot at him this offseason as part of a glorious revamp of our formerly dangerous rushing attack.

So Mankins is pretty much off the table. Between the remaining free agents (our own Soliai included), veterans being dangled, and April’s draft, it will be interesting to see if The Bifecta can fill this team’s holes with “win now” players. Considering the SoFlo Sea Mammals came within an inch of regime change last month, winning now would probably be a good idea.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

Tuna Sighting! Parcells Emerges for Sitdown with TCU QB Andy Dalton

12 Feb

Apparently The Tuna joined GM Jeff Ireland and Head Coach Tony “Sir-Kicks-alot” Sparano during Senior Bowl festivities to get to know TCU quarterback prospect Andy “Crazylegs” Dalton. This according to Dalton’s father.

Nice to see Parcells taking time out from burning $100 bills and consulting with other franchises, to help the good ol’ SoFlo Sea Mammals. Was this simply a gap in The Tuna’s busy schedule? Or are Jeff and Tony smitten with Dalton, and looking for a third opinion on the matter?

Dalton is a very solid prospect. He led the dynamic TCU offense, and piled up a mountain of wins during his career. Guru Mike “Mayhem” Mayock currently lists Dalton as his #5 quarterback, but has said he expects Dalton to rise leading up to the draft, due largely to his underrated arm.

At any rate, could be a guy to keep an eye on. A possible target for the Dolphins in the 2nd if we trade down and add a pick, or in the 3rd if he should fall that far.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

Is that Brad Johnson with a fauxhawk?

EXCLUSIVE: Ten Easy Steps Toward Making Andrew Luck a Dolphin

18 Jan

The Bottlenose presents…
TEN EASY STEPS TOWARD MAKING ANDREW LUCK A DOLPHIN

We’ve crunched the numbers, we’ve made the phone calls, we’ve cracked the code. These are the ten steps we must complete to secure the first pick in the 2012 draft.

STEP 1
If your Head Coach takes zero chances, and has pretty much watched his entire team quit on him to close out his second consecutive losing season, give that man a raise. DONE

STEP 2
If you lose an offensive coordinator, find the guy who’s run the perhaps the worst offense in the NFL over the last two years, and hire him as a replacement. DONE

STEP 3
If you’ve got a mediocre tight end, give him a lucrative extension instead of the nose tackle who heroically anchors the line of your elite defense, and is about to enter free agency. DONE

STEP 4
Draft zero offensive skill players in 2011. Again. PENDING

STEP 5
Name Chad “Fra-gi-le, Must Be Italian” Pennington your 2011 starter. PENDING

STEP 6
Replace Vernon Carey’s secret twinkie supply with two secret twinkie supplies. Vern’ won’t ask any questions, and adding 30 more offseason pounds will officially make him the world’s biggest turnstile. This will give defensive ends a clear shot at Pennington’s good shoulder, and by “good shoulder” we of course mean the one still attached to his torso. PENDING

STEP 7
In a desperate attempt to create the next Vick-esque comeback story, convince Hendry Correctional Facility to parole Cecil “The Diesel” Collins three years early for work release as our new starting tailback. Sure he’s 34 now, but fresh legs baby. Fresh. Legs. PENDING

STEP 8
The Brandon Swap. Name Brandon Marshall our punter, and Brandon Fields our #1 wideout. Crazy? Maybe. We say just crazy enough to work. PENDING

STEP 9
Call a Hail Mary. On every play. PENDING

STEP 10
Only four players on the field at a time. Worked in ‘Hoosiers’, didn’t it? PENDING

We’ve already got a three step head start on this plan. Now it’s simply up to the powers that be to follow the rest of the blueprint and make the Luck pick a reality. We can do this, if we just don’t try hard enough.

GO DOLPHINS! And feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

Bottlenose Poll of the Week: Biggest Draft Steal in Dolphins History?

21 May

Rex Ryan’s Reasonably Rotten Reconstruction

25 Apr

Though they have become the media darlings of the NFL, something is starting to stink up North lately. Either Rex Ryan’s lap band has become infected, or the Jets are starting to botch this thing.

This team was two quarters from the Super Bowl. They led the league in both team defense and rushing offense. They’ve got a talented, young QB, and a tough, workhorse back on the rise in Shon Greene. They added Santonio Holmes at a bargain price, which was a great move assuming he keeps his nose clean. They also brought in Antonio Cromartie to strengthen the CB position opposite Revis. Not bad. But aside from these two moves, it has been a most curious offseason for Rex and the Gang Green.

They let Thomas Jones (1400 yards, 14TDs) head to Kansas City, Kansas City here he comes. In his place they bring in Ladainian Tomlinson (730yds, 3.3ypc), whom the Chargers dismissed even though he was the face of the franchise.

They signed Jason “Crazylegs” Taylor to temporarily solve their OLB/DE problem, never mind that he had all of seven sacks and 33 tackles in 2010, and recently turned 49.

Which brings us to the draft. Rexy-poo didn’t exactly plug holes this past weekend. With the signing of Cromartie the Jets already looked strong at CB. Their first round pick? Talented Boise State corner Kyle Wilson. So, passing against the Jets was difficult. Now, it’s…um…still difficult?

In the second round the Jets drafted offensive lineman Vladimir Ducasse. This is because they are releasing Alan Faneca, a perennial All-Pro guard, who they could have kept on for a total cost of $2.2m this season. Perhaps he mentors Vlad for a season? The Jets decided instead to part ways, and will put Vlad in there immediately. This is fine and dandy (I suspect we’ll be starting rookie John Jerry at LG), but it seems like a lateral move to us.

Then, in a very curious move, the Jets trade Leon Washington to Seattle for a fifth rounder (Christmas came early, Pete Carroll). Leon is simply one of the scariest players in the league. Sure, he wanted a raise, but he deserved one. The Jets drafted underachieving USC back Joe McKnight to help bolster their RB stable, but we’re not convinced. Rex has magically turned Thomas Jones and Leon Washington into Ladainian Tomlinson and Joe McKnight.

To close out their draft the Jets grabbed a fullback to make it easier to phase out four-time Pro Bowl FB Tony Richardson. Okay fine, but let’s remember that the Jets already had the top rushing attack in the league. This also smells like a lateral move.

Heading into the draft the Jets were expected to find an understudy for their OLB/DE position (JT’s almost certainly there for just one season). They had a need at safety, and health concerns on the interior of their D-line. Where they could have gone Jerry Hughes, they went Wilson. Where they could have gone Morgan Burnett, they went with a guard. Where they could have had Geno Atkins or Thaddeus Gibson, they were busy replacing Leon Washington with Joe McKnight. And where they went fullback, NT Cam Thomas was available at a bargain basement price.

We’re not saying the Dolphins had a perfect draft, but it’s nice to see that the Jets failed to address any of their main concerns this past weekend. In our opinion they even weakened themselves a bit.

Also, the Jets completely and unabashedly suck dolphin testes. Seriously, all of the Jets, their players, fans, and staff members, use this chart to locate and then suck the testes of male dolphins. It’s just a fact.

Mmmm. Dolphin testes.

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