Tag Archives: revis

Three First Round Curveballs the Dolphins Could Throw

16 Mar

We are of course in the middle of free agency. A lot can and will happen between now and the draft. But just for kicks, these are three curveballs our beloved SoFlo Sea Mammals could toss at the rest of the league come the first round of the 2013 draft.

CURVEBALL #1: TAVON AUSTIN, WR, WEST VIRGINIA
Why? Because we may be just out of reach of elite talent at other positions. Because touchdowns win football games. Because really Brian Hartline’s deal is for two years. Because it sometimes takes that long anyway for a rookie wideout to get up to speed. Because Austin is completely and utterly filthy on a football field. Because why reach on a guy at 12 if he isn’t miles beyond what we can get at that position with our second rounders?

CURVEBALL #2: EDDIE LACY, RB, ALABAMA
Why? Because Lamar Miller has 57 touches in his entire career. Because it often takes two running backs in today’s NFL. Because Daniel Thomas averages 3.5 yards per carry. Because 6.5ypc against SEC defenses. Because 5’11″ 230lbs of fury, that’s why.

CURVEBALL #3
DARRELLE REVIS, CB, NEW YORK JETS
We know, we know, “Nobody trades within their division”. Apparently the hitch in the Tampa bay offer to the Jets was their reluctance to include their 1st rounder. Would New York really not bite if the #12 pick in the draft was dangled? If a player they truly coveted was on the board? They’d be getting rid of a disgruntled player coming off a major injury and expecting a massive payday. If things get bad enough between Revis Island and the powers that be, they might become less and less picky about their trading partners.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @TheBottlenose

Go Ahead Brandon, Enter Beast Mode

14 Oct

Why should Brandon Marshall hold back? Why should any Dolphin hold back, after this 0-4 start? Marshall has made some interesting statements about going ballistic on Monday Night Football against the hated Jets. He’s even been working on his punting again in practice. Something may be simmering inside of #19, and as long as nobody is shot, stabbed, or given a Colombian Necktie, we say unleash the beast.

Still looking for our first win, and heading into enemy territory against perhaps the best cornerback tandem in football, we would love to see Marshall shake things up. The Beast can be monstrous, and he thrives on emotion. If it takes him flirting with anger mismanagement to get him rolling, go for broke, kid.

He is a phenomenal talent. Talk of trading him is short-sighted. He’s under contract through 2014, and he’d make a hell of a safety blanket for Andrew Luck, Landry Jones, Matt Flynn, or whoever takes the reins of this offense in 2012. You bring in a first year starter without a #1 wideout and you often wind up with Sam Bradford. That isn’t a knock on Sam. His targets are what they are.  

Of course with Marshall it’s a matter of harnessing that emotion just enough, so he’s not thrown out of the game, and/or costing us field position. But really, “Calm down, Brandon”? “Take it easy”? This team needs some fire. Who’s it going to come from, Anthony Fasano? Nah.

The fire we need may have to come from the team’s most flammable source.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

The Fibbing Fin: Revis’ Swagger Stolen, DB Suspects Vontae Davis

29 Aug

All Pro cornerback Darrelle Revis has hired investigators to track down three gallons of swagger that disappeared from the defensive back’s luggage during a summer visit in South Florida.

“I went to Miami to work out with Vontae Davis and his boys. Next thing I know he and that tall guy are claiming to be the best cornerback tandem in the NFL.” Revis shakes his head. “They got their hands on some swagger from somewhere. You tell me what happened.”

Davis denies any wrongdoing. “I developed this swagger in the fifth grade,” the Miami cornerback claims. “I started talking smack to my teachers, knocking notes down when kids tried to pass them.”

Davis’ grade school Principal, R.J. Butterflood explains, “We didn’t know what had gotten into Vontae. Then our guidance counselor found a scientist in Denmark who had isolated the swagger gene.” Butterflood smiles proudly, “Turns out that kid had a sh** ton of natural swagger.”

Davis dropped Revis at Miami International Airport after the combined Jets-Dolphins workouts, and claims to have seen the aforementioned swagger in Revis’ luggage. That is exactly when Revis believes the swagger-lifting took place. Davis has denied the charges, claiming that said swagger was lost or stolen in transport.

American Airlines has denied any responsibility, even reprimanding Revis for packing it in the first place. “It clearly states in our guidelines, no flammable materials, no explosives, no liquids over four ounces, no weapons or cutting implements of any kind, and absolutely no swagger.”

An uncorked barrel of swagger caused the emergency landing of a Southwest 737 last February.

BS NEWSWIRE

 

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