Rex Ryan’s Reasonably Rotten Reconstruction

25 Apr

Though they have become the media darlings of the NFL, something is starting to stink up North lately. Either Rex Ryan’s lap band has become infected, or the Jets are starting to botch this thing.

This team was two quarters from the Super Bowl. They led the league in both team defense and rushing offense. They’ve got a talented, young QB, and a tough, workhorse back on the rise in Shon Greene. They added Santonio Holmes at a bargain price, which was a great move assuming he keeps his nose clean. They also brought in Antonio Cromartie to strengthen the CB position opposite Revis. Not bad. But aside from these two moves, it has been a most curious offseason for Rex and the Gang Green.

They let Thomas Jones (1400 yards, 14TDs) head to Kansas City, Kansas City here he comes. In his place they bring in Ladainian Tomlinson (730yds, 3.3ypc), whom the Chargers dismissed even though he was the face of the franchise.

They signed Jason “Crazylegs” Taylor to temporarily solve their OLB/DE problem, never mind that he had all of seven sacks and 33 tackles in 2010, and recently turned 49.

Which brings us to the draft. Rexy-poo didn’t exactly plug holes this past weekend. With the signing of Cromartie the Jets already looked strong at CB. Their first round pick? Talented Boise State corner Kyle Wilson. So, passing against the Jets was difficult. Now, it’s…um…still difficult?

In the second round the Jets drafted offensive lineman Vladimir Ducasse. This is because they are releasing Alan Faneca, a perennial All-Pro guard, who they could have kept on for a total cost of $2.2m this season. Perhaps he mentors Vlad for a season? The Jets decided instead to part ways, and will put Vlad in there immediately. This is fine and dandy (I suspect we’ll be starting rookie John Jerry at LG), but it seems like a lateral move to us.

Then, in a very curious move, the Jets trade Leon Washington to Seattle for a fifth rounder (Christmas came early, Pete Carroll). Leon is simply one of the scariest players in the league. Sure, he wanted a raise, but he deserved one. The Jets drafted underachieving USC back Joe McKnight to help bolster their RB stable, but we’re not convinced. Rex has magically turned Thomas Jones and Leon Washington into Ladainian Tomlinson and Joe McKnight.

To close out their draft the Jets grabbed a fullback to make it easier to phase out four-time Pro Bowl FB Tony Richardson. Okay fine, but let’s remember that the Jets already had the top rushing attack in the league. This also smells like a lateral move.

Heading into the draft the Jets were expected to find an understudy for their OLB/DE position (JT’s almost certainly there for just one season). They had a need at safety, and health concerns on the interior of their D-line. Where they could have gone Jerry Hughes, they went Wilson. Where they could have gone Morgan Burnett, they went with a guard. Where they could have had Geno Atkins or Thaddeus Gibson, they were busy replacing Leon Washington with Joe McKnight. And where they went fullback, NT Cam Thomas was available at a bargain basement price.

We’re not saying the Dolphins had a perfect draft, but it’s nice to see that the Jets failed to address any of their main concerns this past weekend. In our opinion they even weakened themselves a bit.

Also, the Jets completely and unabashedly suck dolphin testes. Seriously, all of the Jets, their players, fans, and staff members, use this chart to locate and then suck the testes of male dolphins. It’s just a fact.

Mmmm. Dolphin testes.


3 Responses to “Rex Ryan’s Reasonably Rotten Reconstruction”

  1. Jim May 8, 2010 at 9:42 am #

    HA love the article

  2. Jets Rule May 15, 2010 at 6:58 am #

    This is just dumb

    • danewen May 15, 2010 at 7:28 am #

      Judging by your name, I am assuming you are required to find this piece dumb, even if (aside from the dolphin diagram) it raises some very valid red flags about the almighty Jets’ offseason.

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