The Fibbing Fin: Dolphins CEO Mike Dee Returns to Beastie Boys

5 Aug

Citing the lack of quality hip hop in today’s music world, and an undying love for touring, Miami Dolphins CEO Mike Dee has decided to return to The Beastie Boys, a spokesman confirmed Thursday afternoon. This was followed by a carefully worded Twitter statement, in which Dee thanked the Dolphins for “The flyest opportunity south of Queens, but it’s time to jump like Mexican beans.”

And jump he shall. Mike Dee will join fellow Beasties MCA and Ad-Rock on a 28-city tour, before stepping into the studio to record the last single for their yet unfinished album, ‘Brooklyn Blowhole’. Dee is taking out a quarter-page ad in tomorrow’s Sun Sentinel to thank Miami for “14 months of the dopest chief executing he could’ve ever dreamed of.”

Most team officials were supportive when reached for comment, and several fans cheered outside team headquarters as Dee exited for good, in a $3,000 suit offset by his trademark three-stripe Adidas low-tops, and a golden Volkswagen emblem around his neck.

However, Dolphins Owner Stephen Ross was clearly burned by the CEO’s departure. “His name is Mike Dee, and he gets respect,” Ross explained. “But then our cash and our jewelry is what he expects?”

Ross will most certainly expect some of that cash back, as Dee will be leaving just over a year into a four year agreement.  The Dolphins must now rush to fill Dee’s post, with most experts agreeing that former Public Enemy hype man Flava Flav has the inside track.

The Beasties are back on the road, and Miami's out a CEO.


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