Fins Bake Jake “Coconut” Grove, Order a Berger

9 Sep

The guaranteed money is gone. Nothing we can do about that. $14.5 million, enough to buy this. But when the Dolphins cut Jake Grove today they did save a considerable amount of cash that will certainly be put to good use in the near future. He was slated to make between $3 and $4m over the next four years, about $15m in total that can now be spent on other worthy Sea Mammals.

Vontae “Crazylegs” Davis has shown a lot this preseason. If he goes off this year, expect a Revis holdout sequel in South Beach. Chad “Crazylegs” Henne has only two years remaining on his rookie deal, and if he continues to impress we’ll have to lock him up as well. Plenty of ducats we’ll be shelling out in the near future.

Then of course there’s the Miami backfield. We’ve quietly managed to not have a single starting-quality rusher signed through February. If Ronnie stays healthy we can hopefully extend him at a reasonable price. Ricky seems open to another year. But if Ronnie signs for more elsewhere, and Ricky moves to a Nepalese commune, we may have to make a run at free agent possibilities Deangelo Williams or Ahmad Bradshaw.

At any rate, we couldn’t pay Grove that type of cash to make a permanent dent in the trainer’s table. We wish him good health and good luck elsewhere. Enter Joe Berger and his tidy $700,000 salary. Just enough to buy this.

GO DOLPHINS, and follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

Joe Berger. Big Neck. Bigger promotion.

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