Week 1 Stock Report: DOW Prospers as Porpoises Pounce

15 Sep

DOW (Dolphins Overall Worth) heading into Minnesota: 774 (+11)


RONNIE BROWN (NYSE: RBROW) +4 1/4: Ronnie has investors a bit sheepish after a 2.1 per carry average in the preseason, but against the Bills he looked ready to rumble. Ronnie ran for a more than respectable 65 yards on 13 carries, good for a 5 yard average. He also added two catches for 20 more yards. RBROW rewarded fantasy shareholders and mocked Anthony Fasano investors with a 1/2-yard touchdown dive.

MIKE NOLAN (NASDAQ: MNOL) +3 1/2: Minus a lone busted coverage on a Roscoe “P. Coltrane” Parrish touchdown, this defense was solid as hell. 166 total yards for Buffalo, and only 2.9 per carry for the Marshawn/Spiller/Jackson trio. Three sacks, good pressure. Shares would be through the roof if not for a pair of dropped interceptions, both would-be touchdowns.

CHRIS CLEMONS (NYSE: CCLEM) +3: The kid was everywhere, and not just in the secondary. Clemons logged two tackles for a loss on Sunday. We could get used to those dreadlocks flying around the field for the next several years if he keeps this up. Lots of guys have the speed to get in on a play, but they can’t all finish the deal. So far so good with Clemons, who has wrapped up very well.  CCLEM is a stock to watch.


NOLAN CARROLL (NYSE: NCRL) -2 1/2: Well, this stock has certainly come back down to Earth over the last little while. Carroll gets saddled with Buffalo’s lone touchdown, as Parrish left him in the dust for a wide open score. Still, the rookie has shown flashes during his brief tenure with the Fins, and we wouldn’t hesitate to scoop up shares at the right price.

JARED ODRICK (NYSE: ODRK) – 4: The rookie was playing well, but suffered a hairline fracture that will shelve him for about 6 weeks. Tough for his value to take a hit based on injury news, but a stock can’t perform if that stock…well…can’t perform. Shareholders should probably sit tight, as chances for a mid-season rebound look strong.


A win is a win. We’ll take it. A loss to the Bills, considering our brutal first half schedule, could have been catastrophic. Vikings, Jets, Patriots, Packers, Steelers, Bengals, Ravens. That is a murderer’s row if we’ve ever seen one, and not taking a bite out of this cupcake would have been horrific. Our heart says we’ll go undefeated in our first eight. Our football cerebellum thinks if we get to that soft-serve second half scheddy at .500 we’ll have it made in the shade. We’re just sayin’…

GO DOLPHINS! And follow us on Twitter if you’d like @thebottlenose


3 Responses to “Week 1 Stock Report: DOW Prospers as Porpoises Pounce”

  1. Ripp September 16, 2010 at 12:18 am #

    Wasn’t Culver who was covering Parrish?

    • danewen September 16, 2010 at 12:37 am #

      Hey Ripp, thanks for dropping by.

      Per the Buffalo News: “Parrish got free behind Miami cornerback Nolan Carroll, who appeared to think he had help from a safety behind him. Miami coach Tony Sparano said Parrish should have been chucked at the line.”

      Culver may have not helped, but Coach Sparano singled Carroll out for not jamming Parrish. If Coach puts it on Nolan, we have to concur. Hard to tell where Culver is from the replay, though I’m sure Lee Evans was getting the bulk of attention. Here’s the link to the clip. It seems like we didn’t have anyone deep. I see Bell and Clemons cheating up.


      • Ripp September 16, 2010 at 7:06 pm #

        ESPN must have got it wrong. When I was watching the highlights they said it was Culver who cheated up which allowed Parrish to run right by him.

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