When the season started it looked as if the Dolphins’ schedule could be divided into two halves, one that looked like Hell on earth, and another like a delicately placed, single-file line of puffed pastry. However, upon further review the final eight games are starting to look a little tricky. The Bottlenose presents a gander at the SoFlo Sea Mammals’ stretch run.
GAME 9: Tennessee. They’re 5-2. They have the most explosive back in the league next to Lou Polite, and to make matters worse they’ve started throwing it with reckless abandon. Kenny “Crazylegs” Britt had 1,700 yards receiving this weekend, give or take 1,500.
GAME 10: Chicago. Say what you will about this schizophrenic squad of cubs from the Windy City, they’re in first place. Cutler, when on, is a gunslinger. Not to mention they’ve got the #2 scoring defense in the NFL.
GAME 11: @Oakland. Sure, they’re a game under .500, but the Ray-duz just hung 59 on a home team. 59! Darren “Crazylegs” McFadden is doing his best Bo Jackson impression (injury trouble and all). They’ve got an underrated D. Not to mention this game is in the Black Hole.
GAME 12: Cleveland. The Brownies don’t have a good record, but they’re showing some toughness lately. They walked into the Big Easy and hit the Saints hard. Hillis is the new John Riggins. We should be able to beat these guys, but they’re not going to roll over.
GAME 13: @New York Jets. They’re 5-1, and in the conversation for top dog in the NFL. Not to mention this game will be played in their new stadium/spaceship. This game will be up North, in December, against the #1 scoring D in the league.
GAME 14: Buffalo. I don’t like it one bit, but it seems like Ryan “Crazylegs” Fitzpatrick may be onto something. The Ivy Leaguer has looked legit lately, with Lee Evans and Steve Johnson making big plays. They’re putting up points, and well…we’re kinda not. Which means they have a shot at an upset when they come to SoFlo.
GAME 15: Detroit. Stafford returns this week. Megatron is virtually unstoppable, and Jahvid “Crazylegs” Best is a touchdown waiting to happen. If the Lions can keep it close against the Sea Mammals, one big play could sink us.
GAME 16: @Patriots. Also 5-1. This is in Foxboro on January 2nd. Expect a snow tsunami, or “snownami”. Perhaps if we’ve rediscovered our smashmouth offense we could Ricky and Ronnie them to death. Passing usually gets tougher up there late in the season, especially for the Fins, whose blowholes tend to ice over.
So there you have it. Two road games against playoff teams in our immediate future, and then the eight game stretch detailed above. We’ve got two teams at 5-1 in our own division. Eight AFC teams have more wins than us.
Steep hill to climb for Miami, made steeper as the ex-cupcakes on our schedule start to bulk up a little bit.
GO DOLPHINS! — and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose