Dolphins Serving Waffles and Tuna to Go

10 Nov

Chad Henne is the quarterback of the future? Yanked halfway through his first season as a starter.  The #4 rushing team in the NFL last season? Now frantically flinging the ball around the field, ignoring two Pro Bowlers in its stable. We intend to win games and make the playoffs, yet show little to no testicular mass when it’s time to take chances in big games.

The turf at Sun Life Robbie Landshark Stadium hasn’t seemed this shaky in a while. Bill “Crazylegs” Parcells is yanking the cord on his golden parachute, though apparently he’s available for phone calls. Our offense has shown no ability to get the ball into the end zone. Dan Henning’s play calling has been an absolute mystery, and not in the “keeping defenses off balance” kind of way. And Tony Sparano has taken the safest route in almost every make or break moment the Dolphins have faced this season.

I was struck by a five minute span this weekend against Baltimore. It felt like the game was slipping away in the 3rd quarter, as the Ravens had taken a 20-10 lead. We were lining up for yet another punt from midfield. Then, like magic, we changed our formation. For a moment I thought, “Yes! Tony knows we’ve got to lay our balls on the block to win a game like this.”

Alas, we were just fishing for an offsides penalty that never came. We punted, and moments later Baltimore showed that they were playing to win, successfully faking a punt on 4th and 10 when we thought we’d held them. I’m having a hard time imagining Sparano ever making a move like that. Too daring.

Yanking Henne for Pennington is the type of move that’s usually a red flag. It rarely helps a guy like Henne in his development. It rarely launches a team towards the playoffs. It rarely inspires confidence in the coach, whether we’re talking about the fans or the guys who actually suit up. Pennington’s more accurate, but weak down the field. Granted we’ve decided not to EVER throw the ball deep anymore, so maybe Henne’s cannon arm wasn’t an advantage.

As for this Ravens game? Hartline fell down, Henne interception. Ball bounced off Marshall’s hands, Henne interception. Desperation time, 35 seconds on the clock, down by 16, Henne had to force one. Interception. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back? For this you yank a developing youngster that has looked more like “The Real Deal” than anyone since “Dapper” Dan Marino?

Waffles, waffles, waffles. This team is all over the place. Henne’s getting the blame. Both Ronnie and Ricky are at 4.3 yards per carry, yet we refuse to line up and slug people in the mouth. No identity. Cutesy play calls when we need grit. Punts and field goals when we need to go for more.

Could be a shaky stretch coming up for the SoFlo Sea Mammals. The schedule’s tougher than it looks, and with Parcells gone Ross will be forced to look long and hard at The Pride of New Haven if the fish go belly up. There are a lot of coaches out there on the market. Some of them have rings. Some of them wouldn’t mind coaching down in Davie. Oh, and I don’t think any of them are as thrilled by field goals as Tony Sparano.

–GO DOLPHINS! — and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose


6 Responses to “Dolphins Serving Waffles and Tuna to Go”

  1. brett Drogmund November 10, 2010 at 5:00 pm #

    I sooooo wanted Henne to be the future (and I think he can be) but he is CURRENTLY not excelling at the position. Pennington gives us a better chance to win and thus, the change was made. Pennington knows this offense better than OC Dan “should have never come out of retirement” Henning. He will be calling his own plays on Sunday and will dink and dunk down the field, just like he did when he took us to the playoffs 2 years. ONLY NOW, he steps in with arguably one of the BEST receivers in the game (MARSHALL), arguably the best possession receivers in the game (BESS) and of course an O-LINE that has been rebuilt to PASS PROTECT…. We “changed our Chad” and will get a “W” on Sunday…. go phins!

    • danewen November 10, 2010 at 9:00 pm #

      If we’re built to pass protect then why are Ricky and Ronnie averaging 4.3 a carry? Complete squandering of a team strength, IMO. Hell, Henning goes empty backfield on 3rd and 2 half of the time.

    • Chris November 11, 2010 at 9:52 am #

      Penne took us to the playoffs with a weak schedule, Bmarsh isn’t going to be as huge a boost to penne as you think.
      We still will never throw the ball deep, the defense will stack up on us, and our ypc average will fade away.

      we got a lot of lucky bounces during our playoff year.

      One thing i’m not liking about sparano right now, is that he seems to select a scapegoat for every issue.
      henne was this weeks
      but he needs to stop protecting henning, he’s the issue, not henne.
      maybe he thinks that because we have a softer second half schedule, he’ll look brilliant for putting penne in, and henne will be pointed at for the cause of a 4-4 record.

      problem is, this second half schedule isn’t looking as weak as it was in the beginning of the year (not by miles and miles) so i see this one backfiring and exposing sparano.

      4-4 is actually a pretty damned good record considering our schedule thusfar.
      Many of hennes int’s i attribute to mistakes by other players, and horrible playcalls, though in truth, henne does make a boneheaded int now and then.

      We lost to 4 of the very very best teams in the nfl, that happens.
      I really wanted to see what henne could do against tennesee, who is more on our “level”

      Lastly, stop with this crazylegs bs, makes you look special ed

      • danewen November 11, 2010 at 10:10 am #

        Chris, I agree completely with everything you’re saying. Except for the Crazylegs part. Thanks for stopping by The Bottlenose.

      • Chris November 11, 2010 at 10:36 am #


        TO all the posters previous to me, what do you see happening this year, regardless of QB play?
        it’s time to find out of we have anything in henne and tiggy, not put penne in to limp slightly toward, but ultimately falling short of, the playoff race (or a first round exit at best)

        we’re not going to make it like this without holding henning accountable, so we’re essentially playing for a few wins and next year, penne doesn’t benefit that at all.

  2. moooj3 November 10, 2010 at 7:22 pm #

    fire the idiot sprano

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