Biologists Puzzled By Giant Fork Found in Miami Dolphins

18 Nov

— NORTH MIAMI BEACH, FL

Marine biologists were puzzled to find a giant fork in several dolphins off North Miami Beach’s Newport Fishing Pier Thursday night. Several witnesses saw a fork being put in the dolphins, but most were too disturbed by what they saw to give any details.

“It’s so sad,” said local fisherman David Bagdasarian, choking back tears. “These Miami dolphins had so much potential. I’ve been a fan of the dolphins for years, and to see this type of carnage is just horrible.”

Forks have been put into the Miami dolphins in prior years, but this is the earliest such a tragedy has occurred. “These Miami dolphins are done,” said Chief Biologist Greg Darby, shaking his head.

“Someone put a fork in ’em. They’re done.”

–BS Newswire

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3 Responses to “Biologists Puzzled By Giant Fork Found in Miami Dolphins”

  1. InFINcible November 19, 2010 at 6:59 am #

    Man I don’t see us beating the Raiders or Cleveland, maybe, maybe, maybe we beat the Bills and Lions and eek it out to 6-10. WTF man. Silver lining, maybe Sparano and Henning get canned? Then we get a big signing like we did with Jimmy Johnson and win a bunch of…oh wait, we didn’t win then either. Maybe we get Cowher, and he builds us an amazing defense, which lasts long after he leaves but then we rehire Wansteddt. OR we get an amazing QB ala Marino and never build a team around him. Take your pick, I can’t see past us being cursed. Maybe I just haven’t found the right pre-game ritual to get us over the hump. Life of a Fins fan, just a bunch of maybes, shoulda, woulda, coulda’s.

  2. phinaddict November 20, 2010 at 12:51 pm #

    It was without a doubt a desperate move by a coach feeling the heat instead of coaching him up on his flaws, which are all coachable David Lee, Dan Henning are you listening they decide to throw him under the bus opening up a pandoras box. Ever since they did that it seems to have empowered Fasano, Marshall and company to openly question him and throw tantrums during games. In my opinion Sporano sealed his fate and now he can ride his little mutinous bunch to another loosing season, what worries me is that in all likely hood Carl Petersen is the next V.P. of the team and his legacy is taking a very competitive team in K.C. and turning them into a perennial joke.

    • danewen November 20, 2010 at 2:51 pm #

      I agree about Carl Peterson. Hopefully we’d make a more forward-thinking hire. I worry that if we give Tony another season we’ll miss out on some very good candidates. There are some seriously good coaches out there. Guys with rings. Guys who will end up elsewhere if we’re indecisive.

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