— NORTH MIAMI BEACH, FL
Marine biologists were puzzled to find a giant fork in several dolphins off North Miami Beach’s Newport Fishing Pier Thursday night. Several witnesses saw a fork being put in the dolphins, but most were too disturbed by what they saw to give any details.
“It’s so sad,” said local fisherman David Bagdasarian, choking back tears. “These Miami dolphins had so much potential. I’ve been a fan of the dolphins for years, and to see this type of carnage is just horrible.”
Forks have been put into the Miami dolphins in prior years, but this is the earliest such a tragedy has occurred. “These Miami dolphins are done,” said Chief Biologist Greg Darby, shaking his head.
“Someone put a fork in ’em. They’re done.”