Week 15 Stock Report: Schizophrenic Fins to Finish with Flourish?

17 Dec

DOW (Dolphins Overall Worth) after grounding the Jets : 684 (+26)


MIKE NOLAN (NASDAQ: MNOL) +7: His star continues to rise. He and Cam Wake have been locked into the “Risers” column pretty much all year. 2.4ypc for the LT/Shonn Greene tandem? 17 out of 44 passing for Mark “Pretty Boy” Sanchez? Nolan’s been almost too good. It wouldn’t surprise us to see him hired away to head coach at a big time college program. Hell, at this rate he may be on some short lists on the NFL level. One step further, would he be a downgrade from Sparano? Just asking.

CAMERON WAKE (NYSE: WAKE) +6 3/4: Two more sacks for Cam “Canadian Bacon” Wake. He’s a phenomenon. Great cutaway during the game to Jason Taylor, as he watched Cam seal the game for us. Kind of an “out with the old, in with the new” moment. Lock Cam up now. With this defense we will almost always be in the game. However, someone needs to remind our offense that the team with the most points wins.

QUENTIN MOSES (NASDAQ: QMOS) +3: Nice to see ol’ “Crazlegs” Moses in the risers column. One of the first posts in Bottlenose history was about getting Moses more playing time. Simply put, the guy makes the most of his snaps. With our depth on defense, “Q” will remain a role player going forward. But history has shown that role players like him can go a long way.


CHAD HENNE (NYSE: CHENN) -3: Chad completed 5 of 18 for 55 yards. On the day. With an All-Pro wideout, a killer slot receiver, decent tight end and a healthy backfield. He also lost two fumbles. Granted it was rainy, Henne needs to finish even stronger now to avoid sharing snaps with Vince Young, Donovan McNabb, or Rookie X next spring.

DAN HENNING (NASDAQ: DHEN) -4: The mudslide continues for Henning. Even in victory, we managed to do nothing with The Beast, a healthy backfield, our slot monster Bess, and our long term tight end Fasano. 131 total yards? A grand total of three 3rd down conversions. This was one of the worst offensive performances in team history. He’s butchered what was the #4 rushing offense in the league. Any time your punter eclipses 560 yards worth of yardage, it doesn’t bode well for the OC. If Danny Boy hadn’t already punched his ticket to The Villages, he did this past weekend.


We beat the Jets, which is always a source of much satisfaction. It’s also worth remembering that if Santonio Holmes doesn’t eat a Butterfinger on that ball in the end zone, we go to overtime, and all bets are off. Our offense let our defense down yet again. This is sink or swim time for Henne. Buffalo and Detroit back to back? This is a chance to light it up, and finally put some points on the board. If we end up showcasing Dan Carpenter against these two? Fuggetaboutit.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose


4 Responses to “Week 15 Stock Report: Schizophrenic Fins to Finish with Flourish?”

  1. BC December 18, 2010 at 2:07 am #

    If Henne doesn’t botch a handoff in Jets territoty we win easier – can’t count Holmes drop and then disregard Henne’s botch – they are all part of the game

    • danewen December 18, 2010 at 8:18 pm #

      A fair point, though one was a “gimme” touchdown, in the end zone, and nobody within twenty yards. Thanks for your comment, and GO DOLPHINS!

  2. faversham December 18, 2010 at 4:55 am #

    Mike Nolan would be a quantum leap in head coaching quality over clueless Sparano who’s unprepared, unqualified and only there because he was grandfathered in as one of Parcells’ cronies, just like Wannstedt, Johnson’s coffee boy.

    • danewen December 18, 2010 at 8:20 pm #

      Daaaaaamn. Whose shoes will Sparano shine now that The Tuna is swimming away? No doubt Parcells’ departure puts Tony under the microscope. I say he gets a pass against the Patsies, but what if we lay eggs against the Bills and/or Lions?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s