Week 17 Stock Report: Phins Flop into Foxboro for Finale

1 Jan

DOW (Dolphins Overall Worth) As the Sea Mammals put on their teal leg warmers in Foxboro : 535 (-62)

ON THE RISE

BRANDON MARSHALL (NYSE: BMARSH) +2 1/2: Ten catches for 102 yards. This was a hell of a trade for Miami, make no mistake. He’s young, and he can shove DBs around all day long. The offense has been the problem from day one this year, and having The Beast on board makes fixing it that much less of a chore.

RICKY WILLIAMS (NASDAQ: RICK) +1 3/4: This was one of Miami’s best running performances of the season. Not that we lit the field on fire or anything, but 4.2 a carry on the ground was gangbusters for this problem offense. Ricky ran for 71 yards, and 5.1 per carry. It will be interesting to see if we sign Ricky for another year. A valuable guy to have around, especially since it should be at a bargain basement price. Heck, doesn’t Ricky still owe us like $34,000,000?

TUMBLERS
CHAD HENNE (NYSE: CHENN) -4: Two interceptions in a ninety second span in the fourth quarter, including the game-losing pick-six with two minutes left? Sure, Bess fell to contribute to one of them, but still, ouch. Chad is at the very least going to have competition brought in next season. He’s shown flashes, but is painfully inconsistent. This one was in the bag, and Chad did more to blow it than any single player.

TONY SPARANO (NYSE: TSPAR) -18: When a team completely disintegrates in the tail end of a game, a giant hunk of blame has to fall on the coach. Is that coach keeping his foot on the opponent’s neck? Is that coach staying on his players to finish the drill? Are those players listening? One home win this season. Two straight .500 or less seasons after the “miracle turnaround” of 2008. No Tuna around to pat him on the butt, and to help Steve Ross sleep at night. The ice beneath Tony is thinner by the moment.

SUMMARY

Even when our offense finally makes some noise these Dolphins find a way to botch it. 3 turnovers committed, none forced. 17 points allowed in less than two minutes and thirty seconds. Just a travesty. At least there were absolutely no playoff ramifications (is that really what passes for a silver lining in Dolphinland these days?).The good news? Even after this game our Dolphins boast the 3rd ranked defense in the league. Look Ma, we’re good at something!!!

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

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