The Fibbing Fin: Stephen Ross Interviewing Sue Henne for GM Position

20 Jan


Dolphins Owner Stephen Ross is gassing up his private jet once more, this time speeding to the Reading, Pennsylvania Municipal Airport for an emergency job interview with Chad Henne’s mother, Suzanne.

This week “Sue” made news with an emailed call for the heads of the entire coaching staff. Ross, moved both by her decisiveness, and a “remarkably delicious” Rice Krispie Square recipe she posted on her food blog ‘Henne-One Up for Dessert?’, immediately arranged an interview.

The move certainly has put current GM Jeff Ireland in a tough position. Ross has insisted on bringing Ireland along with him to Spring Township, Pennsylvania, both for the interview and for what Ross described as “a charming day trip through Amish Country”.

“There’s no one I’d rather make interview the person I’m about to replace them with,” explained Ross en route to his jet. “Jeff will be crucial in getting himself fired the right way.”

Sue Henne is known in book club circles as an intense motivator, a driven housekeeper, and a “wiz at laminating things.” Though some in the organization have expressed worry that her actions as GM would favor her inconsistent son Chad, Sue has made it clear that would not be the case.

In a statement released this morning, through her neighbor Joan, Sue explained, “My Son never used to check down like this in high school and college. Hell, even in Pee Wee he was a gunslinger. I don’t know what happened to Chaddy-Poo. None of us do.”

Chris Mortensen is reporting that Sue has already contacted several teams about trading her son, with the Arizona Cardinals currently offering two ninth round picks, despite those not existing anymore.

— BS Newswire


2 Responses to “The Fibbing Fin: Stephen Ross Interviewing Sue Henne for GM Position”

  1. Suzanne January 27, 2013 at 10:55 am #

    Please remove my photo ASAP from your website!

    I am the random person pictured on your site and I don’t appreciate it. This photo was stolen from Facebook.

    Please remove this now.

    • Dan Ewen January 28, 2013 at 9:30 am #

      Taking it down now. My apologies.

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