10. Drink whenever Tony Sparano pumps his fists (Warning: this usually leads to alcohol poisoning by halftime).
9. Drink whenever a broadcast shows the list of every quarterback we’ve gone through since Marino.
8. Drink every time Larry Csonka shoots an animal.
7. Drink every time Lousaka Polite gains 1.7 yards.
6. Drink every time Anthony Fasano goes airborne at the end of a play for no reason.
5. Drink every time Jeff Ireland thinks your mom is a hooker.
4. Drink whenever Stephen Ross sells a famous person 1.3% of the team.
3. Drink every time Ricky Williams quotes Gandhi on his Twitter feed.
2. Drink whenever you don’t see Bill Parcells.
1. Drink every time Bob Keuchenberg drinks.
Any I forgot?
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