The Fibbing Fin: Lack of CBA Forcing Dolphins to Trade Mascot

15 Mar

Without a CBA in place before the draft, NFL teams will be unable to trade players for picks. This has unfortunately forced the Miami Dolphins to dangle the only non-player asset they can, 13-year old mascot TD.

Stephen Ross floated the name at an owner’s luncheon under a platinum tent in New York’s famed Central Park, where diners feasted on grilled Panda Bear and Great White caviar. However, reaction was mixed due largely to TD’s high school level craftsmanship, and vacant eyes that show no emotion whatsoever.

Other owners questioned the value of trading for a seven foot tall dolphin mascot, when it doesn’t even remotely apply to their team name. Ross presented several conceptual drawings demonstrating how the TD costume could easily be retrofitted to vaguely resemble a jet or a seahawk, but skepticism reigned.

Analyst Mike Mayock doesn’t see the Dolphins getting much for TD. “He’s been in the league since 1997,” Mayock explained. “He’s needed seams repaired seven times and he smells like a middle-school locker room. Damaged goods.”

Mayock also mentioned his bloated contract, and the character question. TD still hasn’t lived down an incident at a Big Brothers Big Sisters event (pictured below), when he showed up drunk and nearly scalped an unsuspecting Hialeah boy with his razor sharp fin.

When reached for comment TD responded with three clicks, a squeak, then a lone, final click.

–BS NEWSWIRE

Drunk Dolphin = Former Dolphin?

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4 Responses to “The Fibbing Fin: Lack of CBA Forcing Dolphins to Trade Mascot”

  1. Dale March 15, 2011 at 7:11 pm #

    Funny. We do need a TE

    • Dan Ewen March 15, 2011 at 7:23 pm #

      Perfect. TD for our TE of the future is a no brainer. Virgil Green maybe? DJ Williams?

    • Dan Ewen August 11, 2011 at 10:37 am #

      Think Charles Clay can be that TE?

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Seattle Seahawks Nfl Mascot - March 16, 2011

    […] The Fibbing Fin: Lack of CBA Forcing Dolphins to Trade Mascot « Without a CBA in place before the draft, NFL teams will be unable to trade players for picks. This has unfortunately forced the Miami Dolphins to dangle the only non-player asset they can, 13-year old mascot TD. Ross presented several conceptual drawings demonstrating how the TD costume could easily be retrofitted to vaguely resemble a jet or a seahawk but skepticism reigned. Analyst Mike Mayock doesn't see the Dolphins getting much for TD. “He's been in the league . […]

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