The Fibbing Fin: Dolphins Will Not Select Baylor Punter Derek Epperson Tonight

28 Apr

Bottlenose sources have confirmed that Miami has removed Baylor punter Derek Epperson from their first round draft board.

Epperson actually received a Not First Round Guarantee from GM Jeff Ireland this afternoon. “We’re heartbroken,” explains Epperson’s agent, Archie L. Starchie. “The kid’s got a hell of a leg, and he will spend the next twelve years pinning Miami deep in their own territory as payback.”

The move came after a report surfaced about Epperson selling his game jersey for $22 after a November contest against UTEP. Also there are unconfirmed reports of a laxative addiction.

BS NEWSWIRE

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2 Responses to “The Fibbing Fin: Dolphins Will Not Select Baylor Punter Derek Epperson Tonight”

  1. Timothy Frith May 9, 2011 at 5:14 am #

    I think the Giants will replace Matt Dodge with Derek Epperson.

    • Dan Ewen May 9, 2011 at 9:22 am #

      Epperson would never kick directly to Desean Jackson. Ever.

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