Top Ten Overused Headlines During NFL Lockout

29 Jun

It happened without warning, right around June 2nd. That was the fateful day when the entire population of sports journalists and bloggers ran out of stories. Without a new CBA the situation will deteriorate even further. Riots, looting, hell people may even start watching women play soccer! We proudly present the top ten stories we’ve now seen 4,388 times this offseason.

 

10. Miami Could Conceivably Maybe Possibly Some Day Potentially Be a Landing Spot for [ANY FREE AGENT IN THE WORLD GOES HERE]

9. Ronnie Brown or Ricky Williams Could Both Leave or One Could Stay and the Other Could Leave or Both Could Stay

8. [ANY DRAFTED PLAYER GOES HERE] Looking Forward to Opportunity Instead of Sobbing in Fetal Position

7. [ANY PLAYER GOES HERE] Makes Appearance at [NAME OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOL OR CHARITY GOES HERE] to Warn Kids About [ANY DANGEROUS THING GOES HERE]

6. [ANY REHABILITATING PLAYER GOES HERE] Healthier Now Than When They Were Writhing on the Ground Screaming Seven Months Ago

5. Dolphins Would Prefer to Field Winning Football Team Instead of Crappy One

4. Dolphins Could Possibly Trade Picks or Players for [ANY SIGNED PLAYER IN THE NFL GOES HERE] If the [NAME OF ANY OTHER TEAM] Agree to Do So, But Cannot Force a Trade if the [NAME OF OTHER TEAM] Would Prefer to Keep the Guy

3. Tony Sparano Would Prefer Winning Super Bowl to Losing His Job

2. [ANY PLAYER ON TEAM] Hopes to Play Well Instead of Sucking

1. Roger Goodell and DeMaurice Smith Share a Mustard Packet, Therefore CBA Deal is Just Around Corner

 

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

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2 Responses to “Top Ten Overused Headlines During NFL Lockout”

  1. D July 1, 2011 at 4:06 am #

    5 is my favorite.

    • Dan Ewen July 1, 2011 at 10:50 am #

      It would be nifty if they could make #5 happen. Thanks for visiting.

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