The Fibbing Fin: Miami Plan to Tire Patriots Before December Game Works to Perfection

12 Sep

— MIAMI GARDENS, FL

The crowd wasn’t thrilled with the Dolphins’ performance on this steamy Monday night at Sun Life Stadium. However, those fans were painfully unaware of Tony Sparano’s brilliant plan to tire out the New England patriots before the two teams collide in Foxboro this December.

“Did you see those receivers running all over the field?” a cackling Mike Nolan asked Sparano in the locker room as the two exchanged high-fives. “They’re going to be completely out of gas thirteen weeks from now.”

Sparano, during the post-game press conference, used a diagram of Wes Welker’s legs and several dozen other charts and graphs to clarify how tonight’s 99 1/2 yard touchdown will lead to his complete hamstring failure by early December.

“I’m sure they thought they were earning all of that offense,” Sparano explained. “Well the joke’s on those Massh*les.”

Sparano giggled maniacally, then returned to the locker room and informed his defense that they’d actually be trying to stop the Texans next week.

BS NEWSWIRE

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s