Post-Week 4 Stock Report: Bolts Bash Blowholes, Bottlenoses Bumble into Bye

7 Oct

Dolphins Overall Worth (DOW) after our fourth straight loss? 353 (-46 points)

RISERS

DAN CARPENTER (NYSE: DCARP) +1: A yeah, the Dolphins are once again putting the “foot” back in football. 3 for 3, including a 51-yarder. Man, it was hard to find a riser in this one.

TUMBLERS

KEVIN BURNETT (NASDAQ: BURN) -6: Burnett had one solo tackle. One. KB apparently then went after reporter Omar Kelly in the locker room, daring him to suit up and take him on. Really, Kevin? He also then insinuated that it was a reporter’s duty to support the team. It isn’t. Burnett needs to start improving, or the “free agent bust” label isn’t far off.

CHAD HENNE (NYSE: CHENN) -12: We believe Chad Henne has played his last game with the Sea Mammals. It was a rocky ride, which may have ended exactly where and how it began, at sunny Qualcomm, where Chad Pennington’s injury first paved the way for Henneball. Chad showed flashes immediately. However, for the most part they remained simply flashes. We’ll always remember an electric night against the Jets, when Chad worked New York over with brilliant orange swagger.

TONY SPARANO (NYSE: TSPAR) -31: Several players have said that we’re practicing poorly, which we believe is largely an indictment of the coach. That poor preparation was evident on what may be Henne’s last play in aqua, when Lex Hilliard had no idea his number was being called. Henne scrambled for what he could, and is now facing a long rehab. Ross can give him all the votes of confidence he wants. It doesn’t change the fact that this team is in a downward spiral dating back to the middle of last season.

SUMMARY: These Miami Dolphins are not going to war for their coach. This is a borderline shi*storm, with the potential to become a full on “Clusterfin” if the losing continues.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

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One Response to “Post-Week 4 Stock Report: Bolts Bash Blowholes, Bottlenoses Bumble into Bye”

  1. samsam3738 October 7, 2011 at 8:49 am #

    Maybe omar kelly can actually play better the LB position than THE BUST KEVIN BURNETT.

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