— DAVIE, FL
The Miami Dolphins have upped the ante for their week seven game against the Denver Broncos, announcing that they will be adding Tim Tebow to the team’s Ring of Honor at halftime.
“We know this isn’t normally how it works,” Owner Stephen Ross explained over a panda bacon and penguin egg breakfast. “But every time we announce another way to honor Tim Tebow we sell 5,000 more tickets. Premium seats too.”
In addition to the Ring of Honor induction, rumor has it that wideout Davone Bess will be stripped of his jersey so Tebow’s #15 can be retired by the team. 50,000 Tebow bobbleheads are being manufactured for the event. Additionally the Broncos’ signal-caller will be awarded every Dolphins team passing record, per special agreement with the NFL.
As of press time, a team of welders and sculptors were busily altering the statue of Dan Marino at Sun Life Stadium. “Fans shouldn’t worry,” Ross explained. “Dan Marino will still be featured on the statue, only now he’ll be groveling at Timmy’s feet.”
Head Coach Tony Sparano has agreed to punt on first down for the duration of the game, so as to maximize “Tebow Time”.
“It’s really no big deal,” Sparano explains. “My natural inclination is to punt on first down anyway.”
— BS NEWSWIRE