Post Bye Stock Report: Timex Ticks for Tony as Tebow Tribute Transpires

23 Oct

Dolphins Overall Worth (DOW) after going 0-5? 291 (-62 points)

RISERS

BRANDON MARSHALL (NYSE: BMARSH) +1: What about the drops? You know what? #19 held his own against Revis. Marshall is a big time talent, and we’re glad that he’s under contract through 2014. Were any other Dolphins worth watching on Monday night? When a new quarterback takes the reins in 2012, he will be very glad to have this guy as a target.

TUMBLERS

MATT MOORE (NASDAQ: MMOO) -9: And thus Matt Moore joins the sad list of quarterbacks who have started for the SoFlo Sea Mammals since Marino left. Two picks, one for a TD. He put it on the ground twice as well. A 41.8 rating. Hell, someone fire up the old Rosenfels. Might as well give him some snaps, just because.

STEPHEN ROSS (NASDAQ: ROSS) -20: Ross’ gut said that the team was quitting. Ross’ gut said that it was time to replace The Mad Fistpumper. Ross promptly folded, back-tracked and signed Dolfans up for what looks to be one of the most disheartening seasons in memory. Stevie Blunder better have a hell of an offseason.

TONY SPARANO (NYSE: TSPAR) -22: Lame duck. The amazing thing is we’re actually favored over the Colorado Horses. Tony wasn’t even game to try a 53-yard field goal to climb within a score of the hated Jets. We sat on the ball with over a minute left in the first half. We’d call it sucking for Luck, if we weren’t 100% convinced that we were simply sucking.

SUMMARY: It’s safe to say that if the Broncos leave Miami Gardens with a win, “The Great Clusterfin of 2011” will tear the roof off the practice bubble. Pink slips will fly, tears will be shed. It will be the end of an error. And yes, we know that’s misspelled.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

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One Response to “Post Bye Stock Report: Timex Ticks for Tony as Tebow Tribute Transpires”

  1. Jakerbeef October 24, 2011 at 3:13 am #

    The end of an error. Couldn’t have put it any better myself Dan.

    The sad part is Sparano used to be likeable. Even I bought into the things he used to preach during the 11-5 season, but I see none of that in the team I watched yesterday. More talented, but infinitely more gutless? Or maybe it’s the difference between a class act like Pennington, and a chump like Moore.

    I’m sure other teams have capitulated in such 11th hour circumstances before; it just FEELS like it’s always us.

    For the love of God, Cowher, Gruden…anybody.

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