Pre-Bills Stock Report: Sea Mammals Making Meaningless Mid-November Move?

20 Nov

Dolphins Overall Worth (DOW) as they prepare to batter the Bills? 365 (+61 points)


BRANDON MARSHALL (NYSE: BMARSH) +3 1/2: The man had 7 catches for 98 yards. No, he doesn’t have Cris Carter’s hands, but #19 is a guy you want on your offense. He will make a lot of money next season, but we’re pretty sure removing him from the arsenal the moment we add a first-time quarterback would be more costly. Despite some rocky moments, The Beast is becoming a steady stock on the field.

MIKE NOLAN (NASDAQ: MNOL) +7: Don’t look now, but our boys in aqua and coral have the #8 scoring defense in football. It’s been a rocky start to the season, but Mike Nolan is once again showing why he is one of the best defensive minds in football. This is a safe buy.

REGGIE BUSH (NYSE: BUSHY) +9 1/3: Okay, so his yards per carry wasn’t eye-popping. Still, Reggie scored two touchdowns against the Skins. He has provided some big plays, and will be a great asset as the Dolphins try and continue their turnaround. Smart move to sign him through next season. He’ll be an important dump-off target for whichever young signal-caller we shove under center next year. A valuable piece of Miami’s portfolio.

KARLOS DANSBY (NYSE: KARLO) +12: Dansby is on fire. Scorching. Ten tackles, two for a loss, a massive interception to halt a Redskins drive. Throw in a sack for good measure. Now, can he solve the European debt crisis? One of the strongest linebacking stocks on the market today.


MATT MOORE (SADSAQ: MMOO) -5: We hope that Matt Moore finds a nice space on the shelf for last week’s AFC Player of the Week award, because we don’t see many more of those coming his way down the road. He has had his moments, but we’re still scoring the same points per game as we did during Henne’s tenure. At his best, Moore is a Jay Fiedler type. That is good enough to win some games, but ultimately a franchise QB remains a massive need. Sell.

SUMMARY: And the Sea Mammals continue their meteoric rise to the ninth pick in the draft. We’re on a bit of a roll, too late to make the playoffs, but early enough to avoid Andrew Luck, maybe even Monsieur Barkley too. Still, nice to see us slapping a few folks around, and we see skewered bison on today’s menu. Deep quarterback draft this year, and a couple of intriguing free agents too. Shine on you crazy dolphins.

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose


3 Responses to “Pre-Bills Stock Report: Sea Mammals Making Meaningless Mid-November Move?”

  1. Willy Ricks November 20, 2011 at 7:35 am #

    How about the offensive coordinator? I still think we need a better play book next year but there’s a reason why Reggie Bush is starting to make plays and contribute. The play calls have improved dramatically. I solute the play calls that have gotten Reggie involved and put in better situations to perform. At the beginning of the season the play calls just werent in his favor which made his play on the field suffer.

    • Dan Ewen November 20, 2011 at 8:31 am #

      Fair points, but I won’t salute the OC until we score more than 17ppg. That’s almost a TD worse than anyone else in the AFC East.

  2. Fintasy November 20, 2011 at 1:39 pm #

    Funny article, but I think ticker symbol MMOO just had a short squeeze and is hitting 52 week highs.

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