Post Week 1 Stock Report: DOW Flops as Fins Filleted

13 Sep

Dolphins Overall Worth (DOW) after ten-gallon beatdown in Houston: 401.2

RISERS

RANDY STARKS (NYSE: STARKY) +2 1/2: In a day without much to smile about, Randy Starks logged two sacks. Starky is one of the more quiet but steady D-line stocks in the game, and well worth having in any portfolio.

MARCUS THIGPEN (NASDAQ: THIG) +3 3/4: About time we saw a dangerous return man back there for the Sea Mammals. You see how quickly we were rewarded for taking the safe but unspectacular Davone Bess off of punt returns? Special teams matter. Why waste those touches? In addition to the lovely punt return, Thigpen averaged over 27 ypr on kickoffs. A penny stock to watch.

REGGIE BUSH (NYSE: BUSHY) +4: A strong 4.9 yards per carry against an elite defense. Reggie was our leading receiver as well, and logged 115 total yards. I know Daniel Thomas and Lamar Miller are around, but if Reggie’s 27, and is doing everything right, might it not be the dumbest thing to sign him to a respectable but not bank-breaking extension? A valuable stock to own, especially with our wideout situation.

TUMBLERS

RYAN TANNEHILL (NASDAQ:TANN) -2: In his defense, two of those interceptions were tipped at the line and not thrown into coverage or anything. However, the youngster needs to learn to shuffle in the pocket better. Miami fans remember the master of such subtle sliding, Dan Marino. Just enough to clear the lane. Also, on a desperate fourth down play, you can’t make a throw with no chance of getting past the sticks. We’re not docking Dr. T too much for his first game. He had some hard luck, and did go for over 200yds with our #1 receiver now playing catch with Jay Cutler.

STEPHEN ROSS (NYSE: STROSS) -3: Ross’ bizarre non-firing of Sparano is in the history books now, but the perception of the operation in Davie remains weak. Notice that Peyton Manning only agreed to meet with Philbin? Ross’ allegiance to Jeff Ireland may have also cost us a higher-profile coach. Did Miami miss a chance to truly clean house from the top down, adding one of the big names out there in the coaching mix and letting that choice help name a GM he’s comfortable with? We may never know, but we get the sense Ross likes to hedge his bets. “I’m gonna kind of fire Tony…Okay this time I’m firing Tony, but I’m gonna keep the person who presided over this entire mess.”  Ross seems much more decisive when it comes to celebrity ownership decisions.

JEFF IRELAND (NASDAQ: JIRE) -5: Rumors are swirling that Jeff’s hold on his GM gig is weakening. He’s never inspired confidence exactly. Some hits, some misses. Some PR snafus. Plus he’s got all the charm of a 2×4. It’s worth pointing out that Jeff may not have had much say when Bill Parcells was around, before the Tuna yanked his golden parachute and got the hell out of Davie. But still, Ireland left Tanny with nothing resembling a #1 wideout, and I’m sure everyone noticed Brandon Marshall beating the crap out of DBs last weekend. As a Chicago Bear. Shares of JIRE are shaky.

SUMMARY: Do we really have to write this off as a rebuilding year? Too soon. Let’s not forget that the SoFlo Sea Mammals play Oakland, Arizona, St. Louis, Buffalo twice, Indianapolis, Seattle and Jacksonville. This actually shapes up as a big weekend for us. If we fall short against Oakland there will be plenty of talk about how it’s only the second game, and there’s plenty of season to go. But at the same time a loss would beg the question: If we can’t topple the Raiders, in Miami, who exactly can we beat?

GO DOLPHINS, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @thebottlenose

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