It’s Time for South Florida’s Favorite Game Show: ‘Pile-On Philbin’

24 Sep

Alright, we’ll play. To be fair there was plenty of blame to go around, and Danny Carpenter can’t be feeling too cozy right now. But, a few thoughts about the coaching in yesterday’s sickening game against the lousy, no good, kitten-murdering Jets.

*Balls win football games. Big, brass ones. Faking a punt from your own 25 is something a lot of coaches can’t even fathom. Rex Ryan, though we detest him with every fiber of our being, is a riverboat gambler. That call, in the second quarter, turned a punt into a field goal. Those three points were ultimately what sent this game into overtime. Jumbo cojones win more games than they lose. Don’t play to lose… You PLAY TO WIN THE GAME

*Your rookie quarterback is trying to win a game with under a minute left. It’s his first time in this situation. He’s three of his last eleven, and has only made it into long field goal range by grace of a pass interference penalty. It is a great luxury to have three timeouts left on the board. USE ONE. Settle him down. You’re on the Jets’ 23 with plenty of time on the clock. Hell, USE TWO. That’s why you have those handy little suckers. We used none. Three incompletions later we settled for the field goal, then tried unsuccessfully force a New York punt with timeouts that proved absolutely useless to us.

*Don’t run a play if you’re really just trying to run out the clock ’til halftime. Just don’t. Who are you trying to keep up appearances for? Admit that you can’t wait to get into the locker room. Don’t be ashamed. Fans understand the game. You sent your best player out for the rest of the afternoon and possibly longer. Daniel “A Tad Faster than Paul Soliai” Thomas would take over, with predictable results.

I apologize for ranting here, but my cat is tired of hearing about it. Kudos to Dr. T for hitting Hartline on that deep ball (Lord knows we threw that pass about 13 times yesterday) and putting us in a position to win the game, even if it was an off day in general.  Look for our Dolphins stock report mid-week. The DOW (Dolphins Overall Worth) has been volatile thus far.




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