The Fibbing Fin: Ireland Hoping to Acquire, Immediately Trade Away Top Wideout

12 Feb

– DAVIE, FL

GM Jeff Ireland stepped to the podium with little to hide Tuesday morning, declaring his intentions to acquire then immediately trade away one of the top wideouts in the league for pennies on the dollar.

“We’re going to be bold the moment free agency opens,” Ireland explained, adjusting his officially creepy glasses. “We’re going to lock up Bowe, Wallace or Jennings, then immediately flip them for mid-round picks.”

Pressed as to why he would bring a an All-Pro quality wideout into the fold only to send them packing, and leave his quarterback with nothing but slot receivers and developmental projects to throw to, Ireland nodded toughly. “For the exact same reason I did it before. Because it’s the last thing they’d expect.”

In related news, Brandon Marshall caught 8 passes for 110 yards and 2 TDs today, despite the Bears not having a game.

– B.S. NEWSWIRE

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3 Responses to “The Fibbing Fin: Ireland Hoping to Acquire, Immediately Trade Away Top Wideout”

  1. LJ February 12, 2013 at 5:59 pm #

    Stupid post.

  2. Shula knows February 13, 2013 at 1:23 pm #

    Funny!!!! Sounds about right with Ireland. Giving Ireland 5 top draft picks to work with is like giving a kid a box of matches. Its not going to turn out good.

    • Dan Ewen February 18, 2013 at 7:29 pm #

      Why didn’t we win Powerball so we could buy the team and make these decisions?

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