Miami owner Stephen Ross cracked open a bottle of Cristal as the team plane left the Nation’s capitol on Sunday evening.
“Did you see that, yo?” he asked, ripping off his shirt, WWE-style, revealing a thick, gold rope with a glistening “SR” medallion on the end. “What was that spread? 3.5 points? Crushed it!”
And who could blame him for his excitement? His decision to double-down on “Queasy Joe” Philbin showed immediate results on Sunday, as the Dolphins emerged barely victorious against a Washington team with almost five good players.
“Did you see how we lulled them to sleep with an almost painfully scripted first half of plays, only to surprise them with slightly better play calling the rest of the way? Genius,” Ross shouted, bumping Wu Tang Clan on the plane’s loud speakers and dancing through the aisles. flanked by two cheerleaders.
Ross faced criticism for keeping, even extending Joe Philbin after his wildly mediocre run as Head Coach thus far. But now, with the best record in the league, Ross has had the last laugh.
“Undefeated, bit**es,” Ross exclaimed, the flight attendant asking him to take a seat due to turbulence. As long snapper John Denney forced the stumbling Ross into a seat, the Owner flung his champagne bottle across the cabin. “We taking this sh** all the way to Jacksonville,” he declared, before passing out.
Ross was full tilt after Sunday’s game, for good reason. He was right about Philbin all along, and now the rest of the league has a possibly better than average Miami team to contend with.
— BS NEWSWIRE
Go Dolphins, and feel free to follow us on Twitter @TheBottlenose