‘Twas the Night Before Kickoff – by Duhe Duper

‘Twas the night before kickoff and all through the net,
Fantasy rosters were tweaked and then set,
Jerseys were hung by the flat screen with care,
The cooler was stocked in the game-watching lair.

Our fans closed their eyes and how they did wish,
For a bison burger to be fed to the fish,
For Chad Henne to throw from the North Pole to south,
No hits on his knees and no blood from his mouth,

Visions of Ronnie as bad-ass as new,
Of Brandon Marshall making Bills DBs poo,
Of big Cameron Wake just piling up sacks,
Of Lee Evans wincing on piles of ice packs.

Of young CJ Spiller not making us pay,
And turning it into his coming out day,
Of Tony Sparano pumping his fist,
No passes are dropped and no tackles are missed.

On Vontae, on Jason, on Sean and Benny,
On Fields and Carpenter, even John Denney,
On Carroll, on Jerry, on all of the rookies,
May Misi and Odrick eat quarterback cookies,

On Hartline, The Beast, and slick Davone Bess,
As we order your jerseys from Mitchell and Ness,
On Carey on Richie on Berger on Long,
May you maul on the line and not get the snap wrong,

On Dansby on Dobbins, our middle linebackers,
Attacking and snacking on running back crackers,
On Kendall on Starks as you war in the trenches,
Sending the Buffal-O back to the benches,

On newcomer Clifton on fullback Lousaka,
Dropping elbows like a padded Chewbacca,
On Ireland on Ross on Billy Parcells,
With each TD one more luxury box sells,

On bold Yeremiah, Clemons by your side,
Leave Buffalo’s wideouts with nowhere to hide,
On Henning on Nolan, our new mastermind,
Start heating the seat beneath Gailey’s behind,

And when the dust clears the Bills will be done,
Just circling Dolphins up 30 to none,
And we’ll hear Ricky say, as he runs out of sight,
“Anyone up for some yoga tonight?”

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